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Substance Abuse
Prayers needed
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 733344" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It is so very hard for us to accept that we can do nothing but give them to God, if one believes as you do.</p><p></p><p>Many, many young people rebuff all of our advice. There was a time when my son was in such despair that I felt he would maybe kill himself if he lost custody of his son to his ex. Neither happened but the experience taught me that I can do nothing for an adult child, not even keep him alive. It is hard to believe this yet we can not. My son's child is his entire life. They are very close, and my son lives for him, but his boy is only ten years old and in my Mother mind I feel he needs male friends to talk to. His son...it's great they have such a close bond, but doesn't he want same age peers for the half time his son is with his mother? I suggested church and meet ups with no luck.</p><p></p><p>Son works at a big company in Sales for butEIGHTyears now, has no real friends there and won't take my suggestions on ways to make friends. I have accepted that this is not important to him...having friends. So I am his main "friend" and for years he went through a terrible custody battles with his ex who wanted to rip 50/50 custody from him...luckily, three years later we finally know it will not happen. But it was a hellish three years for us both and my son was never easy natured nor does he help himself. He called ME every day to talk about it. Me instead of a male peer. It was hard on me and not good for him in my opinion. So I asked God to please help him since I can not.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can get to that place where you can give your son to God, knowing you can't help him. The part about not being able to help is very hard. But they often seem to say "no" to all of our suggestions and I have decided they just don't want what we want. I suggested therapy for my son and while he admits it would help him, he has fifty shades of gray reasons why he can't go, including that where he lives NO therapists see patients after 5pm and he works until then. I find this hard to believe, but I can't make him look harder and go.</p><p></p><p>I send you all my prayers and empathy and I understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 733344, member: 1550"] It is so very hard for us to accept that we can do nothing but give them to God, if one believes as you do. Many, many young people rebuff all of our advice. There was a time when my son was in such despair that I felt he would maybe kill himself if he lost custody of his son to his ex. Neither happened but the experience taught me that I can do nothing for an adult child, not even keep him alive. It is hard to believe this yet we can not. My son's child is his entire life. They are very close, and my son lives for him, but his boy is only ten years old and in my Mother mind I feel he needs male friends to talk to. His son...it's great they have such a close bond, but doesn't he want same age peers for the half time his son is with his mother? I suggested church and meet ups with no luck. Son works at a big company in Sales for butEIGHTyears now, has no real friends there and won't take my suggestions on ways to make friends. I have accepted that this is not important to him...having friends. So I am his main "friend" and for years he went through a terrible custody battles with his ex who wanted to rip 50/50 custody from him...luckily, three years later we finally know it will not happen. But it was a hellish three years for us both and my son was never easy natured nor does he help himself. He called ME every day to talk about it. Me instead of a male peer. It was hard on me and not good for him in my opinion. So I asked God to please help him since I can not. I hope you can get to that place where you can give your son to God, knowing you can't help him. The part about not being able to help is very hard. But they often seem to say "no" to all of our suggestions and I have decided they just don't want what we want. I suggested therapy for my son and while he admits it would help him, he has fifty shades of gray reasons why he can't go, including that where he lives NO therapists see patients after 5pm and he works until then. I find this hard to believe, but I can't make him look harder and go. I send you all my prayers and empathy and I understand. [/QUOTE]
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