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Problems with 19 Year Old Son
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<blockquote data-quote="PittDoraj" data-source="post: 493833" data-attributes="member: 13500"><p>I found this forum late last night when I was searching for help. I really need advice. Our 19 year old son has multiple issues - he smokes pot occassionally, (usually the synthetic kind), he steals our credit card numbers to buy video games for himself, he sneaks out of the house in the middle of the night to smoke pot with his friends, etc., etc. A brief history: He is very talented artist who has tried to go to two colleges. He passed a couple of his classes at the first one. He committed himself to the psychiatric ward after that experience saying he had planned suicide. He tried to go to another college this fall but after 2 months he was taken to the hospital after trying to kill himself with booze and over the counter drugs. He spent another week in the psychiatric ward after that and dropped out. We found out he had barely been going to class. When his roommates called 911 it was discovered that he had grafitti supplies and the college was able to determine that my son had been painting things around the campus. The college has not pursued actions against him yet but they will. He is seeing a therapist who is 'developing a treatment plan' and we are waiting for something concrete to be put in place. Since he has been home we discovered he used the credit cards of me, my daughter, and my wife to purchase a PlayStation 3 as well as online games. (Total around $1000). We have all replaced our cards. In recent weeks he has been in 'house arrest' (my terms) essentially. We do not give him any money. He cannot use the car. I usually sleep on a sofa downstairs to try and catch him if he is sneaking out. However last night my wife caught him after he returned from being out from 1:30 to 2:30 in the morning. A review of his text messages showed he was meeting his friend and they talked about meeting to smoke pot - not clear if they did or not. After confronting him and talking about various issues he confessed that he had snuck into my wifes purse and photographed her new credit card and used the number to buy another $80 worth of games on line. (We have tried to carry wallets and purses with us at all times so he cannot get access to our cash/credit cards). Now, the bottom line. My wife wants to kick him out of the house. My son says he expects that and has made plans - however I know any plans he has are thought out for about 1 day. (he freely admits he does not think about anything beyond what makes him happy at the moment and therefore does not care about consequences of his actions). My wife also wants to call the police and pursue charges for theft. I am at a complete loss as to how to proceed. I fear that pressing charges and/or kicking him out will lead to either his suicide (or serious attempt), his death from street activity, or at best a life of being in/out of prison. Please, does anyone have any ideas? Thank you for taking the time to read this - sorry if it rambles too much - I am desperate.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PittDoraj, post: 493833, member: 13500"] I found this forum late last night when I was searching for help. I really need advice. Our 19 year old son has multiple issues - he smokes pot occassionally, (usually the synthetic kind), he steals our credit card numbers to buy video games for himself, he sneaks out of the house in the middle of the night to smoke pot with his friends, etc., etc. A brief history: He is very talented artist who has tried to go to two colleges. He passed a couple of his classes at the first one. He committed himself to the psychiatric ward after that experience saying he had planned suicide. He tried to go to another college this fall but after 2 months he was taken to the hospital after trying to kill himself with booze and over the counter drugs. He spent another week in the psychiatric ward after that and dropped out. We found out he had barely been going to class. When his roommates called 911 it was discovered that he had grafitti supplies and the college was able to determine that my son had been painting things around the campus. The college has not pursued actions against him yet but they will. He is seeing a therapist who is 'developing a treatment plan' and we are waiting for something concrete to be put in place. Since he has been home we discovered he used the credit cards of me, my daughter, and my wife to purchase a PlayStation 3 as well as online games. (Total around $1000). We have all replaced our cards. In recent weeks he has been in 'house arrest' (my terms) essentially. We do not give him any money. He cannot use the car. I usually sleep on a sofa downstairs to try and catch him if he is sneaking out. However last night my wife caught him after he returned from being out from 1:30 to 2:30 in the morning. A review of his text messages showed he was meeting his friend and they talked about meeting to smoke pot - not clear if they did or not. After confronting him and talking about various issues he confessed that he had snuck into my wifes purse and photographed her new credit card and used the number to buy another $80 worth of games on line. (We have tried to carry wallets and purses with us at all times so he cannot get access to our cash/credit cards). Now, the bottom line. My wife wants to kick him out of the house. My son says he expects that and has made plans - however I know any plans he has are thought out for about 1 day. (he freely admits he does not think about anything beyond what makes him happy at the moment and therefore does not care about consequences of his actions). My wife also wants to call the police and pursue charges for theft. I am at a complete loss as to how to proceed. I fear that pressing charges and/or kicking him out will lead to either his suicide (or serious attempt), his death from street activity, or at best a life of being in/out of prison. Please, does anyone have any ideas? Thank you for taking the time to read this - sorry if it rambles too much - I am desperate. [/QUOTE]
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