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Problems with 19 Year Old Son
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 493872" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Hello and welcome. I am so sorry you have to be here. I fully understand the feelings and desperation. My girl has been to 2 different Residential Treatment Center (RTC) since age 14. She ran away for days at a time, forged a check, took our credit cards 2 times to get cash because we refused her money. Our year in the Juvenile Justice system was not helpful. We turned her in for everything hoping that she could help. We turned her in for a home made bong, skipping school and running(nobody did anything about these, pushing us when we tried to keep her from running, only the last got us to a judge. The day of court was when we found out she had forged a large check. Eventually this was plead doen as she was in a state run Residential Treatment Center (RTC) getting treatment.</p><p></p><p>She has been out since Aug. She did not complete the program-she tried and almost killed herself at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They left pills out that she got to. Alll her previous attempts (3 of them) were verbal and she stated she planned to use pills. I feel all attempts have been associated with manipulation to get what she wants. She was about to graduate the program at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and they set her back to the first phase because she broke some rules. She could not face more time there and tried to kill herself. She has been hospitolized for all of the episodes because I think these must be taken seriously. We have had little luck with antidepressants though Celexa seemed to be our best choice. She has fefused this for 3 months. We think she is using marijuana instead.</p><p></p><p>She has finished her GED with flying colors(she couldn't face school), now is working. She still can be manipulative and we of course do not trust her. <strong>We have a locked closet for all valuabless and medications. </strong>My husband just put a strong locking handle on the utlility closet. She has no house key, phone, or internet access (she does do this at friends however). We will not help her get a driver's licence, buy anything for her. We provide a roof, food, rules, and medical insurance. When she is 18???</p><p></p><p>I do not know what the right answers are for you. I could not in good faith kick out a suicidal child. But in that case he needs to be hospitalized. I know this often is not helpful-but maybe he will get some medications to help and get to the core issue of his behaviors. Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is a great place for that. without that, we would know what we know about our daughters traumas. There is improvement, though not a cure in our case. It has helped others. But I agree, unless they want help, nothing works. It is painful.</p><p></p><p>I go to NAMI and this week I am going to my first families anonymous meeting. Though I have had years of treatment along with my daughter-It is hard to make these decisions we are forced to make when we have kids who are both mentally ill and using. I have recieved the best help here, and at meeting with other families. The professionals, though all highly recommended have few answers. We have been lucky to have a few who have raised difficult children and those have been the best support.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you and your wife. Stick together, care for you so you can care for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 493872, member: 11001"] Hello and welcome. I am so sorry you have to be here. I fully understand the feelings and desperation. My girl has been to 2 different Residential Treatment Center (RTC) since age 14. She ran away for days at a time, forged a check, took our credit cards 2 times to get cash because we refused her money. Our year in the Juvenile Justice system was not helpful. We turned her in for everything hoping that she could help. We turned her in for a home made bong, skipping school and running(nobody did anything about these, pushing us when we tried to keep her from running, only the last got us to a judge. The day of court was when we found out she had forged a large check. Eventually this was plead doen as she was in a state run Residential Treatment Center (RTC) getting treatment. She has been out since Aug. She did not complete the program-she tried and almost killed herself at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They left pills out that she got to. Alll her previous attempts (3 of them) were verbal and she stated she planned to use pills. I feel all attempts have been associated with manipulation to get what she wants. She was about to graduate the program at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and they set her back to the first phase because she broke some rules. She could not face more time there and tried to kill herself. She has been hospitolized for all of the episodes because I think these must be taken seriously. We have had little luck with antidepressants though Celexa seemed to be our best choice. She has fefused this for 3 months. We think she is using marijuana instead. She has finished her GED with flying colors(she couldn't face school), now is working. She still can be manipulative and we of course do not trust her. [B]We have a locked closet for all valuabless and medications. [/B]My husband just put a strong locking handle on the utlility closet. She has no house key, phone, or internet access (she does do this at friends however). We will not help her get a driver's licence, buy anything for her. We provide a roof, food, rules, and medical insurance. When she is 18??? I do not know what the right answers are for you. I could not in good faith kick out a suicidal child. But in that case he needs to be hospitalized. I know this often is not helpful-but maybe he will get some medications to help and get to the core issue of his behaviors. Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is a great place for that. without that, we would know what we know about our daughters traumas. There is improvement, though not a cure in our case. It has helped others. But I agree, unless they want help, nothing works. It is painful. I go to NAMI and this week I am going to my first families anonymous meeting. Though I have had years of treatment along with my daughter-It is hard to make these decisions we are forced to make when we have kids who are both mentally ill and using. I have recieved the best help here, and at meeting with other families. The professionals, though all highly recommended have few answers. We have been lucky to have a few who have raised difficult children and those have been the best support. Hugs to you and your wife. Stick together, care for you so you can care for him. [/QUOTE]
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