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Problems with 19 Year Old Son
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 493891" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Now that I have had more time to think about this and read your updated posts I do agree with MidwestMom and TL and rejectedmom. I think your son has a substance abuse problem in addition to depression and maybe other underlying disorders. Taking the beer and stashing it for later is a big red flag. I still remember when we had my older daughter's graduation party from college and difficult child stole beer from the cooler and hid it in her bedroom and in the garage and outside her bedroom window. That's when I knew she needed the beer, she didn't just want to drink it when it was available.</p><p></p><p>I also agree that you are being held hostage in your home. Your daughter's reaction is very common. The hurtful things she said to your son needed to be said. It is not ok for your son to steal from you and your family and treat you the way he does and refuse to get help. You heard some very painful stories today, so many of us have been where you are. We had to kick our 19 year old daughter out of the house in a blizzard last winter. She called us over a hundred times screaming to let her back in. She said she was going to kill herself, walk in front of a car, lay down in the street, etc. We told her we loved her and hoped she wouldn't do that but she was killing herself anyway by the way she living and we couldn't save her. We told her she needed help and we would help her get it but that's all we could do. It took three months but she finally went for help and is now sober and working the program. The point is you can't allow him to bully you any longer. He needs serious help and I think it needs to start with substance abuse help. I beg to differ with those who told you he doesn't have a substance abuse problem. Perhaps it didn't start out that way but it certianly has evolved into that.</p><p></p><p>It's difficult for me to read your posts because our stories are very similar and it brings back so many gut wrenching feelings. None of us wanted to kick our kids out or call the police on them but in all reality that is sometimes what needs to be done in order to help them or bring peace to the family. I am so sorry you are going through this. </p><p></p><p>Now that you have his phone delete the picture of the credit card yourself. You pay the phone bill, it's your phone.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 493891, member: 59"] Now that I have had more time to think about this and read your updated posts I do agree with MidwestMom and TL and rejectedmom. I think your son has a substance abuse problem in addition to depression and maybe other underlying disorders. Taking the beer and stashing it for later is a big red flag. I still remember when we had my older daughter's graduation party from college and difficult child stole beer from the cooler and hid it in her bedroom and in the garage and outside her bedroom window. That's when I knew she needed the beer, she didn't just want to drink it when it was available. I also agree that you are being held hostage in your home. Your daughter's reaction is very common. The hurtful things she said to your son needed to be said. It is not ok for your son to steal from you and your family and treat you the way he does and refuse to get help. You heard some very painful stories today, so many of us have been where you are. We had to kick our 19 year old daughter out of the house in a blizzard last winter. She called us over a hundred times screaming to let her back in. She said she was going to kill herself, walk in front of a car, lay down in the street, etc. We told her we loved her and hoped she wouldn't do that but she was killing herself anyway by the way she living and we couldn't save her. We told her she needed help and we would help her get it but that's all we could do. It took three months but she finally went for help and is now sober and working the program. The point is you can't allow him to bully you any longer. He needs serious help and I think it needs to start with substance abuse help. I beg to differ with those who told you he doesn't have a substance abuse problem. Perhaps it didn't start out that way but it certianly has evolved into that. It's difficult for me to read your posts because our stories are very similar and it brings back so many gut wrenching feelings. None of us wanted to kick our kids out or call the police on them but in all reality that is sometimes what needs to be done in order to help them or bring peace to the family. I am so sorry you are going through this. Now that you have his phone delete the picture of the credit card yourself. You pay the phone bill, it's your phone. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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