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Problems with 19 Year Old Son
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 494141" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I hope you deleted the credit card information from his phone before giving it back. If he is like my difficult child your suspicions that he just went to one of his pot smoking friends places is correct. Addicts love other addicts. There is no shortage of druggies who will help a "friend" out with a place to stay and pot to smoke, I call them polluters, they pollute everyone around them. They love company, it makes them feel powerful and they don't have to face the fact that they have a problem. They look at all the other pot smokers/drug users around them and think everyone is like them. What I hated worse when we kicked difficult child out was that she always found a drug house to flop in. If she had no place to go her bottom would have come sooner. Even her friends who knew she had a serious problem with drinking enabled her to get into more trouble.</p><p></p><p>Back to your situation, I hope you can find a treatment center to guide him to if he comes to you for help. You need to act as soon as the opportunity strikes. Trying to find a place after he is ready may be too late because they change their minds quickly. He probably has no idea where to go for help. I know my difficult child didnt know either. We woke her up one day and told her to get dressed that we had an appointment for an assessment at the substance abuse treatment center. Thankfully she went willingly but if she didn't we were prepared to tell her to leave right then. </p><p></p><p>by the way I think he needs inpatient treatment. In my experience I have rarely seen outpatient work unless the person is extremely motivated to change, which your son is not. He needs to be completely away from drugs and other bad influences for a significant period of time in order for his thinking to become clearer.</p><p></p><p>I think the most heartbreaking thing for a parent to hear is the words "I have no place else to go." My difficult child called us several times saying just that and each time I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. And yet those are the words that you need to hear before they are willing to get help.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 494141, member: 59"] I hope you deleted the credit card information from his phone before giving it back. If he is like my difficult child your suspicions that he just went to one of his pot smoking friends places is correct. Addicts love other addicts. There is no shortage of druggies who will help a "friend" out with a place to stay and pot to smoke, I call them polluters, they pollute everyone around them. They love company, it makes them feel powerful and they don't have to face the fact that they have a problem. They look at all the other pot smokers/drug users around them and think everyone is like them. What I hated worse when we kicked difficult child out was that she always found a drug house to flop in. If she had no place to go her bottom would have come sooner. Even her friends who knew she had a serious problem with drinking enabled her to get into more trouble. Back to your situation, I hope you can find a treatment center to guide him to if he comes to you for help. You need to act as soon as the opportunity strikes. Trying to find a place after he is ready may be too late because they change their minds quickly. He probably has no idea where to go for help. I know my difficult child didnt know either. We woke her up one day and told her to get dressed that we had an appointment for an assessment at the substance abuse treatment center. Thankfully she went willingly but if she didn't we were prepared to tell her to leave right then. by the way I think he needs inpatient treatment. In my experience I have rarely seen outpatient work unless the person is extremely motivated to change, which your son is not. He needs to be completely away from drugs and other bad influences for a significant period of time in order for his thinking to become clearer. I think the most heartbreaking thing for a parent to hear is the words "I have no place else to go." My difficult child called us several times saying just that and each time I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. And yet those are the words that you need to hear before they are willing to get help. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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