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Processing Fear & Asking for Advice
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 714738" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I dont know if 911 can trace your location by cell or not. You are assuming he truly doesnt know where he is. Addicts lie. If he was drunk, which is possible, he may not know where he is, but thats because...he is drunk. No emergency. You cant do anything.</p><p></p><p>I was very codependent on my oldest when he was a little boy. He was the love of my life. If he looked sad, my heart broke. One day I read the title of a book: Toxic Parents and read it. It was a brilliant book on codependence and living your life through your child(ren) and how damaging this was to both.</p><p></p><p>I knew how damaging it was to ME.</p><p></p><p>The book sort of made a lightbulb go off in my head. It was an aha!! moment and I was able to pull back. I was still codependent toward people, but never again to that point. Thirty years later? I have four adult kids (one with a form of autism) and a very dear three year old granddaughter. I would die for any of them, but I dont need to know everything they do in order to feel peaceful. I dont need to talk to them every day to feel close to them. I am closest to my husband, really...oh! And my doggies! Nothing beats a dog! Do you hsve one??? Now that the kids are on their own, my focus is more on me and hubby. And doggies!!!</p><p></p><p>Dont get me wrong. I love hanging out with kids, especially with my girls (daughters and grand) but I can wait, and dont need to know all about whats in their heads. I dont check their Facebook. I rarely check my own Facebook.</p><p></p><p>Seems you are probably codependent on your grandson. It can be stopped. Did you ever read codependent No More by Melody Beattie? Its very good <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. Try it! And adopt a dog! They are so soothing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 714738, member: 1550"] I dont know if 911 can trace your location by cell or not. You are assuming he truly doesnt know where he is. Addicts lie. If he was drunk, which is possible, he may not know where he is, but thats because...he is drunk. No emergency. You cant do anything. I was very codependent on my oldest when he was a little boy. He was the love of my life. If he looked sad, my heart broke. One day I read the title of a book: Toxic Parents and read it. It was a brilliant book on codependence and living your life through your child(ren) and how damaging this was to both. I knew how damaging it was to ME. The book sort of made a lightbulb go off in my head. It was an aha!! moment and I was able to pull back. I was still codependent toward people, but never again to that point. Thirty years later? I have four adult kids (one with a form of autism) and a very dear three year old granddaughter. I would die for any of them, but I dont need to know everything they do in order to feel peaceful. I dont need to talk to them every day to feel close to them. I am closest to my husband, really...oh! And my doggies! Nothing beats a dog! Do you hsve one??? Now that the kids are on their own, my focus is more on me and hubby. And doggies!!! Dont get me wrong. I love hanging out with kids, especially with my girls (daughters and grand) but I can wait, and dont need to know all about whats in their heads. I dont check their Facebook. I rarely check my own Facebook. Seems you are probably codependent on your grandson. It can be stopped. Did you ever read codependent No More by Melody Beattie? Its very good :). Try it! And adopt a dog! They are so soothing. [/QUOTE]
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