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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 729035" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Welcome:</p><p></p><p>Yes I can see why you feel terror. This forum is the raw truth of what we have all been dealing with. I don't think many of us can even begin to find the words to explain what we have been/are going through but we all just know. The stories are all so similar but different.</p><p></p><p>My thoughts with our son always were that we don't want a 30 year old on our couch asking "what's for dinner". Our son has been using for seven years on and off and even when off he accomplished NOTHING. So much time has been wasted.</p><p></p><p>I was so happy when I found this forum and "met" others like me. I felt so isolated and depressed and HOPELESS. I judged myself very harshly. I blamed myself. I blamed my husband. How can you not?</p><p></p><p>When I decided that something had to change because I no longer could live this way I found a therapist that specialized in addiction and she helped me to form boundaries for our son. This was for him as much as it was for us.</p><p></p><p>He had been to inpatient and outpatient rehab, therapists, counselors, social workers, day programs, psychologists, psychiatrists, you name it. This last binge had to be the last one. We said rehab or out. Then we moved him to Florida to sober living and things were dicey there too but he was doing some adulting during his sober days. Right now he is in a long term faith based program - we FORCED it - and seems to finally be seeing the light. This has been OUR journey.</p><p></p><p>I don't think your son will do good at work or school or anything is he is in the throws of addiction. Or maybe you feel he is just experimenting? No one knows your son better than you.</p><p></p><p>Keep reading because there is so much written here (recommend the addiction forum) that I would never attempt to rewrite.</p><p></p><p>Just make sure you take care of you and your marriage. This is usually a long road for parents. It's not a sprint but a marathon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 729035, member: 15032"] Welcome: Yes I can see why you feel terror. This forum is the raw truth of what we have all been dealing with. I don't think many of us can even begin to find the words to explain what we have been/are going through but we all just know. The stories are all so similar but different. My thoughts with our son always were that we don't want a 30 year old on our couch asking "what's for dinner". Our son has been using for seven years on and off and even when off he accomplished NOTHING. So much time has been wasted. I was so happy when I found this forum and "met" others like me. I felt so isolated and depressed and HOPELESS. I judged myself very harshly. I blamed myself. I blamed my husband. How can you not? When I decided that something had to change because I no longer could live this way I found a therapist that specialized in addiction and she helped me to form boundaries for our son. This was for him as much as it was for us. He had been to inpatient and outpatient rehab, therapists, counselors, social workers, day programs, psychologists, psychiatrists, you name it. This last binge had to be the last one. We said rehab or out. Then we moved him to Florida to sober living and things were dicey there too but he was doing some adulting during his sober days. Right now he is in a long term faith based program - we FORCED it - and seems to finally be seeing the light. This has been OUR journey. I don't think your son will do good at work or school or anything is he is in the throws of addiction. Or maybe you feel he is just experimenting? No one knows your son better than you. Keep reading because there is so much written here (recommend the addiction forum) that I would never attempt to rewrite. Just make sure you take care of you and your marriage. This is usually a long road for parents. It's not a sprint but a marathon. [/QUOTE]
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