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psychiatrist / difficult child / medication
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 338100" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Doctors do NOT suggest day treatment to everyone. Much of the time they don't recommend it even when it is clearly needed due to financial issues (insurance, parents, etc...). So if your psychiatrist is saying that he needs day treatment then he NEEDS day treatment.</p><p></p><p>She is 100% right about it being your responsibility. If difficult child hurts himself then it WILL be on your shoulders. TOTALLY. You KNOW he needs help desperately. FAR more help than having a parent put pills on the counter and hope he takes them. Given all that is going on I am surprised psychiatrist did not recommend inpatient.</p><p></p><p>Maybe she KNOWS you will not stand up to difficult child and husband even when it is in difficult child's best interest. Right now school should NOT be the bigger priority. Keeping difficult child safe and giving him the tools to stay safe when he is an adult should be your priority.</p><p> </p><p>I know difficult child does not want any of this. Who does? What person wants to feel so strange act in ways that upset everyone around him? Who wants to take a bunch of medications, much less need them? At some point the parent must step in and say that they have to take their medications, must go to day treatment, must go inpatient for a while.</p><p></p><p>It is NOT failure to change his school. If I remember right he is ahead a grade, so spending a semester going to school half day and day treatment half day is not going to hurt him much academically. It might even HELP. It could get him to see that if he does his work when assigned then the last 2 weeks of school would not be so bad. It might even help him to cope with the hideously stressful and dysfunctional relationship you have with your husband.</p><p></p><p>Speaking of using vyvanse just for 2 weeks so he can do all that homework. That is NOT a responsible way to medicate your child. I am quite sure the psychiatrist did NOT know you were going to do that, or didn't realize exactly what was happening. Your son is learning that speed will help him if he has a lot of work to do. It is NOT being used as a tool to help a person cope with life. Normally a stimulant will sync the patient's mind and body, let them work together in a more effective way. Used the way you are letting difficult child use it - this is teaching him that speed helps you do more, faster.</p><p></p><p>When PROPERLY used for a child with ADHD, stims actually lower the chance that the child will later use drugs. </p><p></p><p>When used the way your difficult child is using it, this is the way addicts use it. Using it this way is TEACHING your son that when he is in a crunch created by procrastination he can use speed to get more done. It just allows him to do more in less time. Sort of what speed does that makes it so addictive.</p><p></p><p>What do you think he will do in a few years if he postpones a lot of stuff and has to get it all done? he will find a psychiatrist to rx some stimulant or other, or he will find a person with a prescription for stims and beg/buy/steal some of them. Then he will graduate to finding a dealer or, if he has a child, getting the child diagnosis'd with ADHD so he can take his child's stims.</p><p></p><p>YOU are TEACHING him to do this. At the very least you are allowing him to abuse this medication. I hope you can take a step back and look at the entire situation. Maybe it would be better for HIM in the long run if you let day treatment help him iwth whatever it is that causes him to procrastinate to the point that he has to abuse a drug to pass his classes. I would think a semester of all F's would be worth it if he learned to do his work as it is assigned and to not abuse medication.</p><p></p><p>You and/or husband need to start handing him his medications and watching him take them. Every dose, every day. Your husband will not comply with this. I am quite sure he will let difficult child handle them himself. It is DANGEROUS. It allows difficult child to tinker with his doses, skipping medications and saving them up to get high sometime (some of them will), even saving some of them up so he can kill himself when he gets to thinking/feeling that suicide is a good choice. </p><p></p><p>I know that is not what you want. The ONLY way to prevent that is to make SURE he has no access to the medications and to make SURE he swallows each dose. It is crucial that this happens, for his safety.</p><p></p><p>Please take some time and think about all of this. Put your feelings aside as much as you can. Look at the situation as an outsider. What do you see? Is your son healthy in every way? What are you doing that is helping? Hurting? Not helping or hurting? What is husband doing, easy child doing, difficult child doing for each of those questions?</p><p></p><p>What do you want to see happening? Now what do you need to do to get to that point?</p><p></p><p>It is HARD, but it is important to put your feelings aside, along with difficult child's, husband's, and even easy child's. Look at what the psychiatrist said. Why are you against it? What does psychiatrist see that you don't? Why are you so against this? </p><p></p><p>Are you strong enough to really parent your difficult child? I know that you have very little or no in real life support as a parent. Your husband is not helpful and is harmful in many ways. You need to see if you can be strong enough to put husband's and difficult child's objections aside and do what teh psychiatrist suggests. With his bad reactions it would give you many extra eyes that know what to look for as he adjusts to the new medications. </p><p></p><p>It won't be easy to drag difficult child to day treatment. Or get someone to do it, have school put him on a bus or in a taxi, or even in your car if you must take him yourself. Have staff at day treatment take him inside. </p><p></p><p>Please really consider what I have said. I know it isn't anything you want to hear. There are so many red flags and signs that say your current course of action has many, many problems and ways difficult child could get hurt. You only have a couple of years until he is 18 and you are out of time. </p><p></p><p>Sending hugs and prayers for your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 338100, member: 1233"] Doctors do NOT suggest day treatment to everyone. Much of the time they don't recommend it even when it is clearly needed due to financial issues (insurance, parents, etc...). So if your psychiatrist is saying that he needs day treatment then he NEEDS day treatment. She is 100% right about it being your responsibility. If difficult child hurts himself then it WILL be on your shoulders. TOTALLY. You KNOW he needs help desperately. FAR more help than having a parent put pills on the counter and hope he takes them. Given all that is going on I am surprised psychiatrist did not recommend inpatient. Maybe she KNOWS you will not stand up to difficult child and husband even when it is in difficult child's best interest. Right now school should NOT be the bigger priority. Keeping difficult child safe and giving him the tools to stay safe when he is an adult should be your priority. I know difficult child does not want any of this. Who does? What person wants to feel so strange act in ways that upset everyone around him? Who wants to take a bunch of medications, much less need them? At some point the parent must step in and say that they have to take their medications, must go to day treatment, must go inpatient for a while. It is NOT failure to change his school. If I remember right he is ahead a grade, so spending a semester going to school half day and day treatment half day is not going to hurt him much academically. It might even HELP. It could get him to see that if he does his work when assigned then the last 2 weeks of school would not be so bad. It might even help him to cope with the hideously stressful and dysfunctional relationship you have with your husband. Speaking of using vyvanse just for 2 weeks so he can do all that homework. That is NOT a responsible way to medicate your child. I am quite sure the psychiatrist did NOT know you were going to do that, or didn't realize exactly what was happening. Your son is learning that speed will help him if he has a lot of work to do. It is NOT being used as a tool to help a person cope with life. Normally a stimulant will sync the patient's mind and body, let them work together in a more effective way. Used the way you are letting difficult child use it - this is teaching him that speed helps you do more, faster. When PROPERLY used for a child with ADHD, stims actually lower the chance that the child will later use drugs. When used the way your difficult child is using it, this is the way addicts use it. Using it this way is TEACHING your son that when he is in a crunch created by procrastination he can use speed to get more done. It just allows him to do more in less time. Sort of what speed does that makes it so addictive. What do you think he will do in a few years if he postpones a lot of stuff and has to get it all done? he will find a psychiatrist to rx some stimulant or other, or he will find a person with a prescription for stims and beg/buy/steal some of them. Then he will graduate to finding a dealer or, if he has a child, getting the child diagnosis'd with ADHD so he can take his child's stims. YOU are TEACHING him to do this. At the very least you are allowing him to abuse this medication. I hope you can take a step back and look at the entire situation. Maybe it would be better for HIM in the long run if you let day treatment help him iwth whatever it is that causes him to procrastinate to the point that he has to abuse a drug to pass his classes. I would think a semester of all F's would be worth it if he learned to do his work as it is assigned and to not abuse medication. You and/or husband need to start handing him his medications and watching him take them. Every dose, every day. Your husband will not comply with this. I am quite sure he will let difficult child handle them himself. It is DANGEROUS. It allows difficult child to tinker with his doses, skipping medications and saving them up to get high sometime (some of them will), even saving some of them up so he can kill himself when he gets to thinking/feeling that suicide is a good choice. I know that is not what you want. The ONLY way to prevent that is to make SURE he has no access to the medications and to make SURE he swallows each dose. It is crucial that this happens, for his safety. Please take some time and think about all of this. Put your feelings aside as much as you can. Look at the situation as an outsider. What do you see? Is your son healthy in every way? What are you doing that is helping? Hurting? Not helping or hurting? What is husband doing, easy child doing, difficult child doing for each of those questions? What do you want to see happening? Now what do you need to do to get to that point? It is HARD, but it is important to put your feelings aside, along with difficult child's, husband's, and even easy child's. Look at what the psychiatrist said. Why are you against it? What does psychiatrist see that you don't? Why are you so against this? Are you strong enough to really parent your difficult child? I know that you have very little or no in real life support as a parent. Your husband is not helpful and is harmful in many ways. You need to see if you can be strong enough to put husband's and difficult child's objections aside and do what teh psychiatrist suggests. With his bad reactions it would give you many extra eyes that know what to look for as he adjusts to the new medications. It won't be easy to drag difficult child to day treatment. Or get someone to do it, have school put him on a bus or in a taxi, or even in your car if you must take him yourself. Have staff at day treatment take him inside. Please really consider what I have said. I know it isn't anything you want to hear. There are so many red flags and signs that say your current course of action has many, many problems and ways difficult child could get hurt. You only have a couple of years until he is 18 and you are out of time. Sending hugs and prayers for your family. [/QUOTE]
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