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psychiatrist / difficult child / medication
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 338310" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Ditto, kjs. I'm so sorry that your heart is broken and you're at work crying. Really, big hugs~</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Regarding the day program: I really think you should consider it for so many reasons. First, you will know that difficult child is with profressionals for this portion of his day = they can handle whatever he dishes out. And, especially because he is in the midst of a medication change, won't it be beneficial for you, difficult child and his docs for him to be under supervision for at least part of the day? And also, perhaps you can make his medication schedule coincide with his being at the program so the responsibility of making him take his medications is not squarely on your shoulders and you're assured he will take those medications! And also, the peace of mind for YOU during those hours he is at the program...you can focus on something else for a change, knowing he's <strong>SAFE</strong>. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Fifteen is a tricky age. I recall with my own difficult child that 15/16 really and truly was difficult because there are so many obnoxious typical teen behaviors coinciding with the brain disorder related behaviors. It was difficult to discern which behaviors were related to what circumstance and in turn, it created a difficult dilemma for H and me to parent properly at times. I was so busy at times trying to be understanding of her disorders and not wanting to punish her for behaviors she couldn't control, that a lot of stuff went over our heads and situations or events that likely called for a sterner parenting hand were never dealt with on the proper level....because I didn't want to upset the waters or make a matter worse or cause difficult child to lash out or have a meltdown (those could last an entire weekend). </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Then, a counselor told me - and this was crucial for us at that time - that we needed to parent difficult child to do the right thing, to follow certain codes of behavior and rules, to meet certain reasonable expectations, regardless of her disorders. He reminded us that one day we were not going to be around walking on eggshells coordinating life for difficult child; that difficult child would have societal expectations placed upon her and that it was best if she learned how to deal with those situations now rather than later. Well, wow. At the time, I felt as if he had said something that went against everything every other counselor had advised....i.e., constantly making accomodations for difficult child comes to mind first and foremost. So we slowly changed our tactics and then difficult child refused her medications. Eventually, that decision of hers led to such behaviors that she ended up having to temporarily leave our home. We had put into place boundaries that were appropriate for us (well, mostly me because H wasn't really with the program at that point). </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Kjs, in your posts you talk about following Dr's orders, which I believe you are. You also talk about your trying to force him to take his medications and you talk about him 'deciding' not to take his medications, about his choosing not to take his medications, etc. This is concerning because what we found with difficult child is that if she only took her medications sometimes, her behavior became very erratic and difficult to read - she had so many highs and lows they ran into one another - very scary! At this time, she was doing a sort of cutting thing with dull things and engaging in very risky behavior. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">If your son is only taking his medications sometimes and at the same time having his medications tweaked, both of those situations could cause the outbursts you're dealing with. I don't know how to make him take the medications, force him to swallow them. I don't know that you can even do that, especially given his age and all that other typical teen stuff. But, I do know that ultimately, it is his behavior that will force YOU to make a decision about how YOU want to live and under what circumstances. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">You have a lot on your plate, no question. And I know you've heard this all before many times from many other board friends. Take care of you. If that means putting your son in a partial day program, then do it. Find out about financing and scholarship monies. There are ways to get him into something like that without it coming out of your pocket. You may have to go through a public health agency, but find out. Speak with the director at the program to find out other means of covering the cost. And difficult child won't want to go because he is embarrassed, but so what if it means this program could keep him safe and alive and you sane? Sending many gentle and supportive hugs. This is not easy, I know.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 338310, member: 2211"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Ditto, kjs. I'm so sorry that your heart is broken and you're at work crying. Really, big hugs~[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Regarding the day program: I really think you should consider it for so many reasons. First, you will know that difficult child is with profressionals for this portion of his day = they can handle whatever he dishes out. And, especially because he is in the midst of a medication change, won't it be beneficial for you, difficult child and his docs for him to be under supervision for at least part of the day? And also, perhaps you can make his medication schedule coincide with his being at the program so the responsibility of making him take his medications is not squarely on your shoulders and you're assured he will take those medications! And also, the peace of mind for YOU during those hours he is at the program...you can focus on something else for a change, knowing he's [B]SAFE[/B]. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Fifteen is a tricky age. I recall with my own difficult child that 15/16 really and truly was difficult because there are so many obnoxious typical teen behaviors coinciding with the brain disorder related behaviors. It was difficult to discern which behaviors were related to what circumstance and in turn, it created a difficult dilemma for H and me to parent properly at times. I was so busy at times trying to be understanding of her disorders and not wanting to punish her for behaviors she couldn't control, that a lot of stuff went over our heads and situations or events that likely called for a sterner parenting hand were never dealt with on the proper level....because I didn't want to upset the waters or make a matter worse or cause difficult child to lash out or have a meltdown (those could last an entire weekend). [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Then, a counselor told me - and this was crucial for us at that time - that we needed to parent difficult child to do the right thing, to follow certain codes of behavior and rules, to meet certain reasonable expectations, regardless of her disorders. He reminded us that one day we were not going to be around walking on eggshells coordinating life for difficult child; that difficult child would have societal expectations placed upon her and that it was best if she learned how to deal with those situations now rather than later. Well, wow. At the time, I felt as if he had said something that went against everything every other counselor had advised....i.e., constantly making accomodations for difficult child comes to mind first and foremost. So we slowly changed our tactics and then difficult child refused her medications. Eventually, that decision of hers led to such behaviors that she ended up having to temporarily leave our home. We had put into place boundaries that were appropriate for us (well, mostly me because H wasn't really with the program at that point). [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Kjs, in your posts you talk about following Dr's orders, which I believe you are. You also talk about your trying to force him to take his medications and you talk about him 'deciding' not to take his medications, about his choosing not to take his medications, etc. This is concerning because what we found with difficult child is that if she only took her medications sometimes, her behavior became very erratic and difficult to read - she had so many highs and lows they ran into one another - very scary! At this time, she was doing a sort of cutting thing with dull things and engaging in very risky behavior. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]If your son is only taking his medications sometimes and at the same time having his medications tweaked, both of those situations could cause the outbursts you're dealing with. I don't know how to make him take the medications, force him to swallow them. I don't know that you can even do that, especially given his age and all that other typical teen stuff. But, I do know that ultimately, it is his behavior that will force YOU to make a decision about how YOU want to live and under what circumstances. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]You have a lot on your plate, no question. And I know you've heard this all before many times from many other board friends. Take care of you. If that means putting your son in a partial day program, then do it. Find out about financing and scholarship monies. There are ways to get him into something like that without it coming out of your pocket. You may have to go through a public health agency, but find out. Speak with the director at the program to find out other means of covering the cost. And difficult child won't want to go because he is embarrassed, but so what if it means this program could keep him safe and alive and you sane? Sending many gentle and supportive hugs. This is not easy, I know.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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