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Question about Bipolar
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 742920" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>I think we all distort our pasts to a certain extent - we all have to create a story that makes sense out of a whole lot of conflicting experiences. There is a lot of research on the unreliability of eyewitness accounts and how malleable our memories of past events can be. For our very troubled children, regardless of the diagnosis, I think there is a lot of psychological incentive to make their pasts seem much worse than they actually were, because they need to give themselves an "out" for how their lives have turned out. They need to point the finger and make it someone else's fault. How much they actually believe of their fictions themselves, vs. how much is deliberately lying to gain sympathy and manipulate others, it anybody's guess. I think a lot of times it's a bit of both. We can start believing our own lies if we tell them often enough. </p><p></p><p>I don't see this as much in my own kids, perhaps because there is an ACTUAL history of abuse that they can point to - they don't need to make anything else up. But I've definitely seen it in other family members and kids of other people I know. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how to combat this, outside of saying "That's not the way I remember that." They cling to these stories so they can avoid taking responsibility for their own lives.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 742920, member: 23349"] I think we all distort our pasts to a certain extent - we all have to create a story that makes sense out of a whole lot of conflicting experiences. There is a lot of research on the unreliability of eyewitness accounts and how malleable our memories of past events can be. For our very troubled children, regardless of the diagnosis, I think there is a lot of psychological incentive to make their pasts seem much worse than they actually were, because they need to give themselves an "out" for how their lives have turned out. They need to point the finger and make it someone else's fault. How much they actually believe of their fictions themselves, vs. how much is deliberately lying to gain sympathy and manipulate others, it anybody's guess. I think a lot of times it's a bit of both. We can start believing our own lies if we tell them often enough. I don't see this as much in my own kids, perhaps because there is an ACTUAL history of abuse that they can point to - they don't need to make anything else up. But I've definitely seen it in other family members and kids of other people I know. I don't know how to combat this, outside of saying "That's not the way I remember that." They cling to these stories so they can avoid taking responsibility for their own lives. [/QUOTE]
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