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Question about getting gas card for son
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 557525"><p>BKS, the pattern you describe is exactly what we went through with my son. My son was in a very similar place when he was 19.... living with friends whose parents were incredibly sketchy, doing drugs themselves etc. Eventually they got tired of my son and kicked him out as well (after a few phone calls to us I think hoping to get money from us).</p><p></p><p>We have sent my son to rehabs out of state... and he has ended up homeless more than once. The first time he was homeless and on the street I was totally horrified and terrified. They are more resourceful than we think and he survivied. That would get to a point where he wanted off the street and would go into rehab, only to eventually use again and get kicked out or do something else. The last place (in yet another state) was wonderful, they were not quitting on him and he eventually walked out with a female resident!!! Leaving us with the bill of course.</p><p></p><p>It took that for me to realize that he was only going to rehab to get off the street and he really was not ready or willing to do the work to really get sober. So when that went south and he called me I was much more like ok now you need to figure it out. I do have a contact where he is who is in recovery and works in recovery but my son never called him. At one point I asked him why he wasnt getting help and he told me because sometimes sleeping on the streets is easier than conforming to the rules of recovery!! That told me that he is really making his own choices, and I need to just let him live his life, it is no longer my responsibilty.... but it is still really hard to let go.</p><p></p><p>So now he is 21, on the streets or actually hitchiking around CA with a friend who was kicked out of the latest program. I am thankful for the small things, that he is alive, that he is doing something (travelling around) and so getting exercise I think. He just had his birthday and asked me to get him a bakcpacking back pack.... and I did do that and it actually felt good to do it. And I am thankful that he is in touch with me and our communicatino is actually much better.... I think partly because i am not longer trying to tell him what to do or give him advice. I am being careful not to make him wrong.... but to let him just be. At this point I just want him to know I love him... but I wont enable him any more.</p><p></p><p>If and when he decides to really do the work of recovery I probably will help him somewhat.... but only if he does some hard work to get there.... </p><p></p><p>It is a process for sure... and it feels like hell but does get better with time and practice.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 557525"] BKS, the pattern you describe is exactly what we went through with my son. My son was in a very similar place when he was 19.... living with friends whose parents were incredibly sketchy, doing drugs themselves etc. Eventually they got tired of my son and kicked him out as well (after a few phone calls to us I think hoping to get money from us). We have sent my son to rehabs out of state... and he has ended up homeless more than once. The first time he was homeless and on the street I was totally horrified and terrified. They are more resourceful than we think and he survivied. That would get to a point where he wanted off the street and would go into rehab, only to eventually use again and get kicked out or do something else. The last place (in yet another state) was wonderful, they were not quitting on him and he eventually walked out with a female resident!!! Leaving us with the bill of course. It took that for me to realize that he was only going to rehab to get off the street and he really was not ready or willing to do the work to really get sober. So when that went south and he called me I was much more like ok now you need to figure it out. I do have a contact where he is who is in recovery and works in recovery but my son never called him. At one point I asked him why he wasnt getting help and he told me because sometimes sleeping on the streets is easier than conforming to the rules of recovery!! That told me that he is really making his own choices, and I need to just let him live his life, it is no longer my responsibilty.... but it is still really hard to let go. So now he is 21, on the streets or actually hitchiking around CA with a friend who was kicked out of the latest program. I am thankful for the small things, that he is alive, that he is doing something (travelling around) and so getting exercise I think. He just had his birthday and asked me to get him a bakcpacking back pack.... and I did do that and it actually felt good to do it. And I am thankful that he is in touch with me and our communicatino is actually much better.... I think partly because i am not longer trying to tell him what to do or give him advice. I am being careful not to make him wrong.... but to let him just be. At this point I just want him to know I love him... but I wont enable him any more. If and when he decides to really do the work of recovery I probably will help him somewhat.... but only if he does some hard work to get there.... It is a process for sure... and it feels like hell but does get better with time and practice. TL [/QUOTE]
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