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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 226621" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Unless you can find a way to reconcile your fears with your son staying with your brother, I don't think you have any choice. I agree, I wouldn't let my child go to Department of Juvenile Justice unless he had committed a crime against others and I was given absolutely NO choice in the matter. However, his level of violence is increasing and the odds are it is only going to to get worse. You will end up serioiusly injured.</p><p> </p><p>Now, I'm going to be really blunt. Some of it you bring on yourself. You know he's unstable right now and yet you expect him to comply to your wishes when you want him off the computer. That's not going to happen and he's found a way to stay on as long as he wants. You grabbed the collar of his shirt. I'm sure that in his mind that means he has the right to touch you right back and, of course, his touch will be a lot less gentle than yours.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing I would do is remove the door to his room. He doesn't have a right to privacy regardless of what he thinks. I'd also be dang sure to do this with someone else present to help me when he goes into a rage about it.</p><p> </p><p>You are teaching him that violence is acceptable and it will get him what he wants. I'm sorry but regardless of the risks, I'd call 911 to say he is unstable and needs to be hospitalized. If you don't have a cell, get one and keep it on you at all times. You're going to need it. One day, you're not even going to have the option of getting to a neighbor. He's not going to let you.</p><p> </p><p>You really are between a rock and a hard place but you need to decide what it is you want to teach your son. Is it okay to threaten or hurt someone to get what you want? If so, what is going to happen when he does the same to a teacher or classmate or even a stranger who gets in his way and what do you think will happen when (not if, WHEN) he does this? Right now, you may have some control of whether he goes to the hospital or to jail because you are his mother. You'll have no choice if it is someone else.</p><p> </p><p>I know you don't like your brother but I've never really been sure of the issues as to why. That's your business. Do you really think it would harm your son? Quite frankly, if it is because you think your brother will alienate your son towards you, I'd say let your bro have custody for awhile with liberal visitation rights by you. If you think he will harm your son, then fight for a foster home for your son. </p><p> </p><p>The reality is that right now your son cannot live with you. It is dangerous for you and will end up harming him in too many ways. My daughter was violent at the age of 13. Not as violent as your son but still violent. I had no family or friends that were willing to take her, so I had to get CPS involved. It was sheer hell but after a week in a very abusive foster home, she did get the message that living at home was much better than living elsewhere and that living at home meant she could not be violent. Of course, your son has more going on that my daughter did. She could and did control her actions when it suited her.</p><p> </p><p>I know you're trying to get your son help and I know you're trying to protect him but you also have a responsibility to yourself and a responsibility to what messages you give your son. You have a sympathetic judge and that's a good thing. See if you can make an appointment with the judge even if that means camping out in his courtroom to get the clerk's attention to make an appointment. If there is a juvenile officer in your police department, make an appointment and find out exactly what is available through those avenues. Go to the PO's supervisor and find out exactly what can be done that way. Go to the head of the local CPS and find out what they can offer and what you have to do to get it.</p><p> </p><p>This. has. to. stop.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 226621, member: 3626"] Unless you can find a way to reconcile your fears with your son staying with your brother, I don't think you have any choice. I agree, I wouldn't let my child go to Department of Juvenile Justice unless he had committed a crime against others and I was given absolutely NO choice in the matter. However, his level of violence is increasing and the odds are it is only going to to get worse. You will end up serioiusly injured. Now, I'm going to be really blunt. Some of it you bring on yourself. You know he's unstable right now and yet you expect him to comply to your wishes when you want him off the computer. That's not going to happen and he's found a way to stay on as long as he wants. You grabbed the collar of his shirt. I'm sure that in his mind that means he has the right to touch you right back and, of course, his touch will be a lot less gentle than yours. The first thing I would do is remove the door to his room. He doesn't have a right to privacy regardless of what he thinks. I'd also be dang sure to do this with someone else present to help me when he goes into a rage about it. You are teaching him that violence is acceptable and it will get him what he wants. I'm sorry but regardless of the risks, I'd call 911 to say he is unstable and needs to be hospitalized. If you don't have a cell, get one and keep it on you at all times. You're going to need it. One day, you're not even going to have the option of getting to a neighbor. He's not going to let you. You really are between a rock and a hard place but you need to decide what it is you want to teach your son. Is it okay to threaten or hurt someone to get what you want? If so, what is going to happen when he does the same to a teacher or classmate or even a stranger who gets in his way and what do you think will happen when (not if, WHEN) he does this? Right now, you may have some control of whether he goes to the hospital or to jail because you are his mother. You'll have no choice if it is someone else. I know you don't like your brother but I've never really been sure of the issues as to why. That's your business. Do you really think it would harm your son? Quite frankly, if it is because you think your brother will alienate your son towards you, I'd say let your bro have custody for awhile with liberal visitation rights by you. If you think he will harm your son, then fight for a foster home for your son. The reality is that right now your son cannot live with you. It is dangerous for you and will end up harming him in too many ways. My daughter was violent at the age of 13. Not as violent as your son but still violent. I had no family or friends that were willing to take her, so I had to get CPS involved. It was sheer hell but after a week in a very abusive foster home, she did get the message that living at home was much better than living elsewhere and that living at home meant she could not be violent. Of course, your son has more going on that my daughter did. She could and did control her actions when it suited her. I know you're trying to get your son help and I know you're trying to protect him but you also have a responsibility to yourself and a responsibility to what messages you give your son. You have a sympathetic judge and that's a good thing. See if you can make an appointment with the judge even if that means camping out in his courtroom to get the clerk's attention to make an appointment. If there is a juvenile officer in your police department, make an appointment and find out exactly what is available through those avenues. Go to the PO's supervisor and find out exactly what can be done that way. Go to the head of the local CPS and find out what they can offer and what you have to do to get it. This. has. to. stop. [/QUOTE]
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