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<blockquote data-quote="Rotsne" data-source="post: 226658" data-attributes="member: 6326"><p>I agree that the situation cannot go on. I also understand the options are not sometime you want and because you are the custorial parent, I want to suggest you a solution which could allow your both to reach a fair conclusion.</p><p> </p><p>I believe that you should allow a professional to evaluate your both and coach your parenting style. While our family therapist has her ideas, she have given us many valuable inputs.</p><p> </p><p>The evaluation can be done in your home, but given the extreme situation I would recommend that it should be done in a therapeutic environment. We have a lot of places where parents and children can live for weeks monitored 24/7. In my town you can get your house turned into a kind of "Big Brother" house. They simply set up camera everywhere (but the toilets).</p><p> </p><p>If the public sector doesn't such a solution, then there are only a private solution back and it is expensive. He needs to go away from videogames - basically his comfort zone and be forced into solving tasks with you. I saw a week long family wilderness program near Two Harbors in Minnesota where you can go together with your son. (They also offers hikes in New Mexico and Texas.)</p><p> </p><p>I have seen a lot of teens missing an adult mentor beside the parents. I dont believe that your son needs placement or a program, but I believe that he could use perhaps a male rolemodel in his life. Are the DSS involved in the sport clubs in your area as we do here, where the coaches are aided with social workers seeing to the emontional health among the players?</p><p> </p><p>You could also need a little training becoming a drill sergent. I have not seen your past threads so I dont know if you by accident had created this problem because you inside at some point have felt that you had failed him as every other parents at some point thinks they have. Maybe you have gifted him into becoming a busybody?</p><p> </p><p>I saw a program for parents which need to come into parental shape. I have no idea if they can offer a similar program for your targetgroup in your area, but I would recommend that you researched it. Anyhow here is a couple of links to parental courses so you can set up borders WITHOUT ending up in a confrontation every time.</p><p> </p><p><a href="http://www.caceeconference.com/parentbootcamp/bootcampagenda.html" target="_blank">http://www.caceeconference.com/parentbootcamp/bootcampagenda.html</a></p><p><a href="http://www.tcdailyplanet.net/article/2008/11/17/parent-boot-camp-marches-history-casts-doubt-minneapolis-efforts-sustain-youth-an" target="_blank">http://www.tcdailyplanet.net/article/2008/11/17/parent-boot-camp-marches-history-casts-doubt-minneapolis-efforts-sustain-youth-an</a></p><p> </p><p>They are not miracle cures but given the alternative - sending your child to a program - where he will come back to his old comfort zone and fall back into his old patterns you can change the environment where he obivious doesn't feel well now.</p><p> </p><p>The balance of power in your home is in imbalance. Because you pay the bills, you have to remain in control. The only way to solve that is to take the control before he simply is too strong and in need of a placement outside the home.</p><p> </p><p>I hope that you find the tools to bring your household into balance again and pray that you find the right solutions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rotsne, post: 226658, member: 6326"] I agree that the situation cannot go on. I also understand the options are not sometime you want and because you are the custorial parent, I want to suggest you a solution which could allow your both to reach a fair conclusion. I believe that you should allow a professional to evaluate your both and coach your parenting style. While our family therapist has her ideas, she have given us many valuable inputs. The evaluation can be done in your home, but given the extreme situation I would recommend that it should be done in a therapeutic environment. We have a lot of places where parents and children can live for weeks monitored 24/7. In my town you can get your house turned into a kind of "Big Brother" house. They simply set up camera everywhere (but the toilets). If the public sector doesn't such a solution, then there are only a private solution back and it is expensive. He needs to go away from videogames - basically his comfort zone and be forced into solving tasks with you. I saw a week long family wilderness program near Two Harbors in Minnesota where you can go together with your son. (They also offers hikes in New Mexico and Texas.) I have seen a lot of teens missing an adult mentor beside the parents. I dont believe that your son needs placement or a program, but I believe that he could use perhaps a male rolemodel in his life. Are the DSS involved in the sport clubs in your area as we do here, where the coaches are aided with social workers seeing to the emontional health among the players? You could also need a little training becoming a drill sergent. I have not seen your past threads so I dont know if you by accident had created this problem because you inside at some point have felt that you had failed him as every other parents at some point thinks they have. Maybe you have gifted him into becoming a busybody? I saw a program for parents which need to come into parental shape. I have no idea if they can offer a similar program for your targetgroup in your area, but I would recommend that you researched it. Anyhow here is a couple of links to parental courses so you can set up borders WITHOUT ending up in a confrontation every time. [URL]http://www.caceeconference.com/parentbootcamp/bootcampagenda.html[/URL] [URL]http://www.tcdailyplanet.net/article/2008/11/17/parent-boot-camp-marches-history-casts-doubt-minneapolis-efforts-sustain-youth-an[/URL] They are not miracle cures but given the alternative - sending your child to a program - where he will come back to his old comfort zone and fall back into his old patterns you can change the environment where he obivious doesn't feel well now. The balance of power in your home is in imbalance. Because you pay the bills, you have to remain in control. The only way to solve that is to take the control before he simply is too strong and in need of a placement outside the home. I hope that you find the tools to bring your household into balance again and pray that you find the right solutions. [/QUOTE]
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