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Failure to Thrive
Radical Compassion
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<blockquote data-quote="savior no more" data-source="post: 682171" data-attributes="member: 19838"><p>COPA -</p><p>I really like your post. Where I have come to have radical compassion is working in the hospital with addicts and homeless people who present with hard stories and situations. In order to deal with the distress and pain of seeing the situations, most people in healthcare immediately go to the blame mode in order to deal with the pain. Or silenty pray they don't end up in that situation themselves. One day it just came to me that surely no one on earth would choose to be in this situation if they had the ability to be different. When I started to verbalize to the patients in severe distress - whether physical or emotional - you are perfect exactly as you are - you could see the years of judement and blame just fall from them. I also tell them that we are all just souls on a journey. Obviously people end up where they end up because of choices and actions, but the unmitigating shame and blame only serve to keep the cycle going. By just being compassionate and taking judgement off the table, maybe energy can be used for healing instead of defending oneself. </p><p>There are times I wonder if this parenting style was harmful for a child like mine. My friend who is a child psychiatrist said that for my Difficult Child a philopsophical, world-view parent allowed him to think it was okay to do the things he did. (She's wrong though. Like if I had berated people enough then my son would have known it was not okay to sell drugs. She still, as educated as she is, deep down blames the mother as does most of society.) </p><p>I still don't have radical compassion for myself. Oh I might in my intellect, but not in my actions. Your post has gotten me to thinking what "acting with radical compassion" would look like.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="savior no more, post: 682171, member: 19838"] COPA - I really like your post. Where I have come to have radical compassion is working in the hospital with addicts and homeless people who present with hard stories and situations. In order to deal with the distress and pain of seeing the situations, most people in healthcare immediately go to the blame mode in order to deal with the pain. Or silenty pray they don't end up in that situation themselves. One day it just came to me that surely no one on earth would choose to be in this situation if they had the ability to be different. When I started to verbalize to the patients in severe distress - whether physical or emotional - you are perfect exactly as you are - you could see the years of judement and blame just fall from them. I also tell them that we are all just souls on a journey. Obviously people end up where they end up because of choices and actions, but the unmitigating shame and blame only serve to keep the cycle going. By just being compassionate and taking judgement off the table, maybe energy can be used for healing instead of defending oneself. There are times I wonder if this parenting style was harmful for a child like mine. My friend who is a child psychiatrist said that for my Difficult Child a philopsophical, world-view parent allowed him to think it was okay to do the things he did. (She's wrong though. Like if I had berated people enough then my son would have known it was not okay to sell drugs. She still, as educated as she is, deep down blames the mother as does most of society.) I still don't have radical compassion for myself. Oh I might in my intellect, but not in my actions. Your post has gotten me to thinking what "acting with radical compassion" would look like. [/QUOTE]
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