I'm very sorry to hear about H's father. It's a difficult time no matter when it happens but in the midst of everything going on you do need a lifejacket.
I understand the biggest problem with owning a company is honest employees and I can only imagine the grief this is causing you. I hope you find what you need to find and that steps taken will result in a stroger company.
You know Sig much of what you write about your difficult child is the way I feel about mine right now. She is not back home but still living on her own and doing well...for her. Far beneath the expectations and dreams I had for her growing up but also far above what looked like would be the case two years ago. Somewhere in the middle where she is working, paying bills, getting by, cleaning up her mistakes from the past, making better friends than she was before and hopefully staying out of trouble. Whether this will remain the case I don't know. If history is any indication she will self sabatoge and all will fall apart. But if the gods are with her and she sees her life can be better she will continue moving forward.
Yes she still drinks. My how I have changed on that score. No longer do I ever think or even consider the fact that she will get sober and stay sober. As far as I know she is not drinking to excess and it is not interfering in her life. If this was the way she was drinking before I never would have considered it a problem. So I have no idea whether she is an addict or was just a young person rebelling against everything and especially us. But I really don't care at this point. I am hoping and praying she continues on this path. I don't know if she is still smoking pot. I suspect she is but it is infrequent. She will always live on the edge and I have come to accept that.
Yesterday we were texting and I asked of she needed to bring clothes over to wash like she had been doing for the past couple months. She said no because she did them at Gary's house. I texted back lol you don't need me anymore. Her reply was of course I do mom you are my mother I'm always going to need you. A far cry from the days/years when she hated us. She is friendly when she is with us, doesn;t ask for anything and is grateful for what we do for her.
She makes comments about how she should just go back to school and that she wishes she could get a better job and I just listen. Those were the consequences of her bad choices and I no longer try to fix them. We worked with her getting her debts paid and husband did some remarkeable negotiating to get much of it written off but she is finally debt free, using her income tax refund and her paychecks and is banking money now to stay ahead of her monthly obligations. husband bought her a car last week, an absolute necessity since the eleven year old car she was driving was literally falling apart and we were having to put so much money into it just to keep it running. She felt the natural consequences of her financial situation when they would not allow her to be on the loan with husband because her credit score was only 450. husband negotiated that too and now she is on the loan which we wanted to help bring up her score. She was very grateful and has promised to take care of the car, we will see. But at least we don't have that worry over our heads.
"He is home, we have a relationship and I know he is OK " I need to let that be enough for now. It is so much more than where we were a year ago..."
That is all so true for both of us. It is enough for us right now.
