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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 41784"><p>I was talking to difficult child one night (several months ago) while she was in the middle of a meltdown. She was not participating in therapy and was noncompliant with medications. And she was absolutely miserable. She was sobbing that she hates her life and wished she were dead. When I talked to her about how I wanted her to be able to be happy and not feel so miserable all the time, she responded, "So!!! I'm not going to die!!!" Simply put, she would rather be miserable then have to do the work.</p><p></p><p>I've been talking to her a lot lately about how I can find the right professionals, I can take her to appointments, I can buy her medications, that I can and do provide the resources and tools, but *she* has to do the work. That no matter how much I wanted to be able to do it for her, I couldn't. If she wants to feel better, she has to use the resources provided. </p><p></p><p>You provided the resources. You provided the tools. That's really all you can do. It's the leading the horse to water analogy. He has to want to make use of them. I don't know if their failure to do so is a symptom of their illness or if it's just a lack of desire or if it's comfort in the familiar. But, I feel very confident that had you not provided the resources and tools the outcome would have been very different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 41784"] I was talking to difficult child one night (several months ago) while she was in the middle of a meltdown. She was not participating in therapy and was noncompliant with medications. And she was absolutely miserable. She was sobbing that she hates her life and wished she were dead. When I talked to her about how I wanted her to be able to be happy and not feel so miserable all the time, she responded, "So!!! I'm not going to die!!!" Simply put, she would rather be miserable then have to do the work. I've been talking to her a lot lately about how I can find the right professionals, I can take her to appointments, I can buy her medications, that I can and do provide the resources and tools, but *she* has to do the work. That no matter how much I wanted to be able to do it for her, I couldn't. If she wants to feel better, she has to use the resources provided. You provided the resources. You provided the tools. That's really all you can do. It's the leading the horse to water analogy. He has to want to make use of them. I don't know if their failure to do so is a symptom of their illness or if it's just a lack of desire or if it's comfort in the familiar. But, I feel very confident that had you not provided the resources and tools the outcome would have been very different. [/QUOTE]
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