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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 766136" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear New Leaf</p><p>Oh no. </p><p>My day was like yours. The first thing I knew when i woke up was M telling me that my son was outside. Because we've been remodeling the bed is in the living room near the window. I freaked out. I got up and saw this fantasma/ghost outside the window. I felt immediately traumatized but first went to the bathroom and when I came back he was gone. M later told me he had answered the door and my son just left. </p><p>I had a long day's work that began at 830 and I couldn't engage. I just couldn't. </p><p>My son looked horrible. Just horrible. Like the worst homeless person. Beaten up by life. He told me he has nowhere to go nowhere to hide. He feels stalked. Imagine being on the street with no where to hide, no place that is yours. And afraid. And your mother doesn't want you. </p><p>When I finished my days work M said I was "brava" with all my patients. It means at best spirited or energetic. It's like saying bravo but not exactly. It can mean rough. Or brave. I got defensive but didn't show it. And then he called me over to guess where one of the cats was, Micah, the female who loves me so much and she had climbed up into a shelf she never goes. Her mommy had scared her. </p><p>I told M all day I had been defending against my feelings of the morning. G-d knows how I was acting.</p><p>M had told me he didn't think I was fulfilling my responsibilitie as a mother to my son.</p><p>Honestly, New Leaf, I can't survive this. I cannot bear the pain of it.</p><p>M (who has been slugged various times by my son, called him to let him go to the other house because he thinks my son wanted a hot shower. Oh my Lord. The pain of this. </p><p>My son had broken his phone. I called. Whoever's phone he is calling from doesn't answer. He's unreachable.</p><p>That is the metaphor. Unreachable.</p><p>I am going to try to find some peace. Listen to a lecture online. Read the paper. It can always be worse.</p><p>New Leaf, with all my heart I wish this was different for us. We are kind, nice , sensitive people. We are not built for this kind of hurt.</p><p>I love you. Copa You are not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 766136, member: 18958"] Dear New Leaf Oh no. My day was like yours. The first thing I knew when i woke up was M telling me that my son was outside. Because we've been remodeling the bed is in the living room near the window. I freaked out. I got up and saw this fantasma/ghost outside the window. I felt immediately traumatized but first went to the bathroom and when I came back he was gone. M later told me he had answered the door and my son just left. I had a long day's work that began at 830 and I couldn't engage. I just couldn't. My son looked horrible. Just horrible. Like the worst homeless person. Beaten up by life. He told me he has nowhere to go nowhere to hide. He feels stalked. Imagine being on the street with no where to hide, no place that is yours. And afraid. And your mother doesn't want you. When I finished my days work M said I was "brava" with all my patients. It means at best spirited or energetic. It's like saying bravo but not exactly. It can mean rough. Or brave. I got defensive but didn't show it. And then he called me over to guess where one of the cats was, Micah, the female who loves me so much and she had climbed up into a shelf she never goes. Her mommy had scared her. I told M all day I had been defending against my feelings of the morning. G-d knows how I was acting. M had told me he didn't think I was fulfilling my responsibilitie as a mother to my son. Honestly, New Leaf, I can't survive this. I cannot bear the pain of it. M (who has been slugged various times by my son, called him to let him go to the other house because he thinks my son wanted a hot shower. Oh my Lord. The pain of this. My son had broken his phone. I called. Whoever's phone he is calling from doesn't answer. He's unreachable. That is the metaphor. Unreachable. I am going to try to find some peace. Listen to a lecture online. Read the paper. It can always be worse. New Leaf, with all my heart I wish this was different for us. We are kind, nice , sensitive people. We are not built for this kind of hurt. I love you. Copa You are not alone. [/QUOTE]
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