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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 766498" data-attributes="member: 18958">I see part of this as biological. We as mothers are conditioned to respond to the tapes with alarm, concern and well, the maternal instinct.&nbsp; So in this way we get it &quot;right&quot; and &quot;wrong&quot; at the same time. After all, Rain and my son and all the others are adults. So, what we do is we catch ourselves, that we are on the wrong tape. What we do if we've been on this board as long as we have is this: We jump like a flea to another part of our brain to escape the &quot;wrong&quot; tape. The wrong tape is the mother of a young child tape who needs protection. We jump like a flea to an appropriate place in our brains, which takes into account &quot;reality&quot; that Rain is middle aged, has lived as some part of her chose and still chooses, and that there is no place here in reality for the response of a mother protecting her vulnerable, dependent child from say, an oncoming car. That is Rain's issue. There is not one thing wrong with your response. There is something wrong with Rain's response. There is something wrong with Rain. And all of the adult children who have brought us together.Well. I identify with this a whole lot. I have trouble sometimes feeling and believing I have worth beyond my choices and limitations. I think value (as a soul) is what spirituality gives us. An off ramp from the life as we know it place, where everybody I've ever known screws up.All there is to do is love Rain as you do and to pray that she finds a way off the hamster wheel, which I very much identify with. Only she can do that for herself, and you and I are no different.How many posts have you written New Leaf? Thousands.&nbsp; To find a way to free yourself. Me too. That is the work of life, if we choose to do it. What other way is there to&nbsp; &quot;stop the world I want to get off.&quot; Our children chose drugs. They continue to choose drugs. I get it. I don't like it but I get it.I've gone on and on. The important thing is say is this: I am so very pleased that Rain looks better today. (If I knew how to attach fireworks or balloons I would do it. ) Love, Copa</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 766498, member: 18958"] I see part of this as biological. We as mothers are conditioned to respond to the tapes with alarm, concern and well, the maternal instinct. So in this way we get it "right" and "wrong" at the same time. After all, Rain and my son and all the others are adults. So, what we do is we catch ourselves, that we are on the wrong tape. What we do if we've been on this board as long as we have is this: We jump like a flea to another part of our brain to escape the "wrong" tape. The wrong tape is[I][B] the mother of a young child tape who needs protection.[/B][/I] We jump like a flea to an appropriate place in our brains, which takes into account[I][B] "reality"[/B][/I] [B][I]that Rain is middle aged[/I][/B], has lived as some part of her chose and still chooses, and that there is no place here in reality for the response of a mother protecting her vulnerable, dependent child from say, an oncoming car. That is Rain's issue. There is not one thing wrong with your response. There is something wrong with Rain's response. There is something wrong with Rain. And all of the adult children who have brought us together. Well. I identify with this a whole lot. I have trouble sometimes feeling and believing I have worth beyond my choices and limitations. I think value (as a soul) is what spirituality gives us. An off ramp from the[I] life as we know it place,[/I] where everybody I've ever known screws up. All there is to do is love Rain as you do and to pray that she finds a way off the hamster wheel, which I very much identify with. Only she can do that for herself, and you and I are no different. How many posts have you written New Leaf? Thousands. To find a way to free yourself. Me too. That is the work of life, if we choose to do it. What other way is there to "stop the world I want to get off." Our children chose drugs. They continue to choose drugs. I get it. I don't like it but I get it. I've gone on and on. The important thing is say is this: [SIZE=4][I][COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)][U]I am so very pleased that Rain looks better today[/U][/COLOR][/I][/SIZE]. (If I knew how to attach fireworks or balloons I would do it. ) Love, Copa [/QUOTE]

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