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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 337331" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I'm guessing this thread was put here for more thoughts. I read it and thought long and hard about it a great deal before I commented on it. I really did. Mostly because of the nature in which it was posted. So allow me to enlighten you with the same "laid back" attitude Red Chief because every fiber of my being had to leave the post and basically go kill a tree. I couldn't have said it any better than Suz did and while I'm usually known for turning the other cheek I found it damn near impossible to find any other words to describe your behaviors and logic. </p><p></p><p>I buried a son Feb. 13, 2009. He was 19. NINETEEN. One year away from TWENTY. Isn't that what you said your daughter is? So what, not your kid. I mean MINE. (excuse me while I fight chest pains and tears) He was a good kid a brilliant child. He was getting his life together, and planning on going to technical college. He had just gotten his license. He had just gotten his GED. It took him less time than most kids to complete the test. He finished so quickly in fact, the teacher thought he gave up. He was working two jobs to help his biological Mother out. We'd had Steven in our lives since he was in 6th grade. His Mom smoked marijuana freely in front of him, and crack in private because - well it was a "hard" drug. All good sense out the window. He hated it, and he hated her for not being strong enough to stop. He'd come to our house so often he ended up there. He also had two sisters, one finished hs. The other has a baby now, and lives in the projects with her Mom, and her Moms drug dealing boyfriend who thinks nothing of lighting up a joint in front of the baby. "Oh she's too young to know anything." Sure....she's too young to breath it in too and second hand smoke doesn't burn your cortex. </p><p></p><p>Steven left that life and did his best to go straight. His family ---HIS OWN FAMILY---drug him back down because they were too lazy and made excuses every day for why drugs are okay, welfare is okay, living low (as they say in the country) is okay. Heck even the people that live where they live think their behavior is inexcusable. But he loved his Mother, he wanted better for her - always. </p><p></p><p> He found out that smoking a little weed here and there got rid of his depression temporarily. Sure....it gets rid of a lot of things TEMPORARILY. But when you're done being high. The bills are still there, the stress is still there, the problems are still there, and you're now a little more into debt for paying for the dope. And it's illegal. Eventually his Mothers boyfriend would have him "run" a few "errands". Basically he was a drug mule. Don't think your daughter would ever do it? Yeah well I never thought Steven, who was SO utterly disgusted at his Mom's behavior and drugs would either. </p><p></p><p>See he and my natural born son Dude - would talk at length about the drug scene because my x was a crack head, and at the ripe old age of five? My x sold my son to his dealer for a few hits of crack. Recently when my son asked to go and meet his bio-father I wasn't sure if it was to kill him or forgive him. I'm not sure he's forgiven him-but he needed to see him. Dude has never done drugs and was so hurt by how Steven had been living and died he couldn't even go to his funeral. See we (my DF and I) didn't know any of this at the time we buried Steven what he had been doing- but Dude did. It disturbed him but they were brothers to the end. </p><p></p><p>We would find out later, that the night Steven was driving this car that night and had been smoking pot, oh just a little - it wasn't even his car. It belonged to a man who had given him his car to make a drug run for him earlier in the week and he had kept the car all week. Steven had become agitated over a discussion he had with someone (no one knows) and began drinking (out of character for him, but he was high so who knows what he was thinking) He argued with one of his uncles to the point that he got out of the car and began walking. THAT uncle is alive. The other uncle and a friend stayed in the car and were both killed in the crash. </p><p></p><p>Five minutes from his Mothers house Steven took a curve and went off the road. The car rolled and burst into flames. The uncle was thrown out of the passenger window during one of the rolls, the boy in the back seat was thrown out of the back window during one of the rolls. Steven was trapped in the drivers seat and the car burst into flames and according to the uncle who lived just long enough to talk to EMT's and tell them he could hear Steven screaming for help as he burned alive. There wasn't anything left of the car that you could recognize by the time the fire dept got there. Itty bitty pieces about 4" long of fiber glass littered the entire site, that glass and charred pieces of rubber. </p><p></p><p>No one said but Steven was basically cremated in the car. There were no bones really, nothing left essentially to bury. There was part of a frame and the roof of the car had gotten so hot there was almost nothing left. We would also find out later that the reason the car exploded when it rolled -which is not typical....was that there was jugs of liquid in the trunk for making meth. It cost him his life. It cost three men their lives. </p><p></p><p>It makes me angry, it took me six months to forgive his bio-Mom, because after all she was so stressed out the day she found out he was dead alls he did was smoke pot. Even the loss of her son didn't stop it. We went to their home in the projects to pay our respects and take food, and a memory gift and there on the table was nearly 1/2 a lb. of pot. It just said to me " HIS LIFE DIDN"T matter." </p><p></p><p>So when you're sitting there thinking..."I have to smoke this to relieve stress?" There are better ways. Or if you are thinking...."Smoking pot never HURT anyone?" BULL. It killed my son. If you say pshaw.....to "It's a gateway drug." OPEN YOUR EYES......read this again. If he thought it was OKAY for his MOM and his Mom's boyfriend....then it was OKAY for him, and man what an example to set....pot's okay.....then meths okay, meths' okay...then hauling the stuff is okay, and oh well MY kid will know the difference.....she's smart. YEAH...well money is tight...dope is easy...if it wasn't? Who would you get your stuff from....? You just have to ask your self over and over what if. </p><p></p><p>I miss him....more than I could ever tell you or anyone else. I'm so glad I'm not bent so easily. I sleep better at night.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 337331, member: 4964"] I'm guessing this thread was put here for more thoughts. I read it and thought long and hard about it a great deal before I commented on it. I really did. Mostly because of the nature in which it was posted. So allow me to enlighten you with the same "laid back" attitude Red Chief because every fiber of my being had to leave the post and basically go kill a tree. I couldn't have said it any better than Suz did and while I'm usually known for turning the other cheek I found it damn near impossible to find any other words to describe your behaviors and logic. I buried a son Feb. 13, 2009. He was 19. NINETEEN. One year away from TWENTY. Isn't that what you said your daughter is? So what, not your kid. I mean MINE. (excuse me while I fight chest pains and tears) He was a good kid a brilliant child. He was getting his life together, and planning on going to technical college. He had just gotten his license. He had just gotten his GED. It took him less time than most kids to complete the test. He finished so quickly in fact, the teacher thought he gave up. He was working two jobs to help his biological Mother out. We'd had Steven in our lives since he was in 6th grade. His Mom smoked marijuana freely in front of him, and crack in private because - well it was a "hard" drug. All good sense out the window. He hated it, and he hated her for not being strong enough to stop. He'd come to our house so often he ended up there. He also had two sisters, one finished hs. The other has a baby now, and lives in the projects with her Mom, and her Moms drug dealing boyfriend who thinks nothing of lighting up a joint in front of the baby. "Oh she's too young to know anything." Sure....she's too young to breath it in too and second hand smoke doesn't burn your cortex. Steven left that life and did his best to go straight. His family ---HIS OWN FAMILY---drug him back down because they were too lazy and made excuses every day for why drugs are okay, welfare is okay, living low (as they say in the country) is okay. Heck even the people that live where they live think their behavior is inexcusable. But he loved his Mother, he wanted better for her - always. He found out that smoking a little weed here and there got rid of his depression temporarily. Sure....it gets rid of a lot of things TEMPORARILY. But when you're done being high. The bills are still there, the stress is still there, the problems are still there, and you're now a little more into debt for paying for the dope. And it's illegal. Eventually his Mothers boyfriend would have him "run" a few "errands". Basically he was a drug mule. Don't think your daughter would ever do it? Yeah well I never thought Steven, who was SO utterly disgusted at his Mom's behavior and drugs would either. See he and my natural born son Dude - would talk at length about the drug scene because my x was a crack head, and at the ripe old age of five? My x sold my son to his dealer for a few hits of crack. Recently when my son asked to go and meet his bio-father I wasn't sure if it was to kill him or forgive him. I'm not sure he's forgiven him-but he needed to see him. Dude has never done drugs and was so hurt by how Steven had been living and died he couldn't even go to his funeral. See we (my DF and I) didn't know any of this at the time we buried Steven what he had been doing- but Dude did. It disturbed him but they were brothers to the end. We would find out later, that the night Steven was driving this car that night and had been smoking pot, oh just a little - it wasn't even his car. It belonged to a man who had given him his car to make a drug run for him earlier in the week and he had kept the car all week. Steven had become agitated over a discussion he had with someone (no one knows) and began drinking (out of character for him, but he was high so who knows what he was thinking) He argued with one of his uncles to the point that he got out of the car and began walking. THAT uncle is alive. The other uncle and a friend stayed in the car and were both killed in the crash. Five minutes from his Mothers house Steven took a curve and went off the road. The car rolled and burst into flames. The uncle was thrown out of the passenger window during one of the rolls, the boy in the back seat was thrown out of the back window during one of the rolls. Steven was trapped in the drivers seat and the car burst into flames and according to the uncle who lived just long enough to talk to EMT's and tell them he could hear Steven screaming for help as he burned alive. There wasn't anything left of the car that you could recognize by the time the fire dept got there. Itty bitty pieces about 4" long of fiber glass littered the entire site, that glass and charred pieces of rubber. No one said but Steven was basically cremated in the car. There were no bones really, nothing left essentially to bury. There was part of a frame and the roof of the car had gotten so hot there was almost nothing left. We would also find out later that the reason the car exploded when it rolled -which is not typical....was that there was jugs of liquid in the trunk for making meth. It cost him his life. It cost three men their lives. It makes me angry, it took me six months to forgive his bio-Mom, because after all she was so stressed out the day she found out he was dead alls he did was smoke pot. Even the loss of her son didn't stop it. We went to their home in the projects to pay our respects and take food, and a memory gift and there on the table was nearly 1/2 a lb. of pot. It just said to me " HIS LIFE DIDN"T matter." So when you're sitting there thinking..."I have to smoke this to relieve stress?" There are better ways. Or if you are thinking...."Smoking pot never HURT anyone?" BULL. It killed my son. If you say pshaw.....to "It's a gateway drug." OPEN YOUR EYES......read this again. If he thought it was OKAY for his MOM and his Mom's boyfriend....then it was OKAY for him, and man what an example to set....pot's okay.....then meths okay, meths' okay...then hauling the stuff is okay, and oh well MY kid will know the difference.....she's smart. YEAH...well money is tight...dope is easy...if it wasn't? Who would you get your stuff from....? You just have to ask your self over and over what if. I miss him....more than I could ever tell you or anyone else. I'm so glad I'm not bent so easily. I sleep better at night. [/QUOTE]
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