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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 700292" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Every time we tell our grown children, "we will pay and help you out" the unspoken words are "because you cant." It may seem compassionate of us, but it's not. It makes us, the parents, feel less guilty. It helps our adult men aND woman not one bit. No matter how much they whine and manipulate.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was deep into drugs by fourteen. But she could do school on drugs. She graduated and went to Cosmetology School while she used drugs, bad drugs. She passed her cosmetology certificate on drugs and is gifted with hair too, but cooking is her passion.</p><p></p><p>Everyone but us knew she was snorting coke and meth while in beauty school. The Dean even called us concerned but we did not believe it. She was always a functional coke and meth user, if there is such thing. But the truth was, she was killing herself even while being able to do school. She looked like a skeleton woth blotchy skin...meth signs.</p><p></p><p>When I saw her in cap and gown after graduating from her two year college, I cried like a baby. And she did it herself. All herself. And at that time she was glowing, healthy and very sober.</p><p></p><p>I think her realizing that she could do college alone really, really helped her become an adult, rather than an adult in age only. I think we have to let them go, and then, when they realize we have, they do help themselves more than if we keep "giving them help and a fresh start" they get lazy and waste our efforts. That tenth fresh start is more money we waste and does not lead to success. Success is hard.</p><p></p><p>Less is more. Good luck<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 700292, member: 1550"] Every time we tell our grown children, "we will pay and help you out" the unspoken words are "because you cant." It may seem compassionate of us, but it's not. It makes us, the parents, feel less guilty. It helps our adult men aND woman not one bit. No matter how much they whine and manipulate. My daughter was deep into drugs by fourteen. But she could do school on drugs. She graduated and went to Cosmetology School while she used drugs, bad drugs. She passed her cosmetology certificate on drugs and is gifted with hair too, but cooking is her passion. Everyone but us knew she was snorting coke and meth while in beauty school. The Dean even called us concerned but we did not believe it. She was always a functional coke and meth user, if there is such thing. But the truth was, she was killing herself even while being able to do school. She looked like a skeleton woth blotchy skin...meth signs. When I saw her in cap and gown after graduating from her two year college, I cried like a baby. And she did it herself. All herself. And at that time she was glowing, healthy and very sober. I think her realizing that she could do college alone really, really helped her become an adult, rather than an adult in age only. I think we have to let them go, and then, when they realize we have, they do help themselves more than if we keep "giving them help and a fresh start" they get lazy and waste our efforts. That tenth fresh start is more money we waste and does not lead to success. Success is hard. Less is more. Good luck:) [/QUOTE]
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