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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 648315" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I agree with you here. If our young adult children live at our homes, it stalls their development to be independent. Our younger son lives at home and will likely continue to do so couple more years and while it only makes sense in our situation, it is also easy to notice how much less independent and mature he is in certain things than his older brother was at the same age. Figuring things out on your own certainly has benefits. And at least I'm not ready to consider my adult child living in my home as equal room mate with rights and responsibilities to come with that. Instead of sitting down and negotiating equally about the rules with Joy and me and husband agreeing to his rules in the same way we would expect him to respect our rules, we just tyrannically laid down the house rules for him. He is not an equal, adult room mate in our house, he is our barely adult kid living under our roof and that is a big difference to independent living situation.</p><p></p><p>However it does sound like your son is getting cold feet. I think that in some ways it is typical. Thought of independence may be thrilling but it is also scary. You may need to push him to take that step and support him more than the typical child. But living independently and having that experience of figuring things out is also a huge confidence and maturity boost.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 648315, member: 14557"] I agree with you here. If our young adult children live at our homes, it stalls their development to be independent. Our younger son lives at home and will likely continue to do so couple more years and while it only makes sense in our situation, it is also easy to notice how much less independent and mature he is in certain things than his older brother was at the same age. Figuring things out on your own certainly has benefits. And at least I'm not ready to consider my adult child living in my home as equal room mate with rights and responsibilities to come with that. Instead of sitting down and negotiating equally about the rules with Joy and me and husband agreeing to his rules in the same way we would expect him to respect our rules, we just tyrannically laid down the house rules for him. He is not an equal, adult room mate in our house, he is our barely adult kid living under our roof and that is a big difference to independent living situation. However it does sound like your son is getting cold feet. I think that in some ways it is typical. Thought of independence may be thrilling but it is also scary. You may need to push him to take that step and support him more than the typical child. But living independently and having that experience of figuring things out is also a huge confidence and maturity boost. [/QUOTE]
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