Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Resentful feelings for having an unperfect kid. (looooong, whiny and stupid post)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 536565" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I really don't know, why this graduation party thing is so big for me. And how on earth am I even surprised, that difficult child is not playing along with my dreams on this matter. </p><p></p><p>I really don't think that kids job in this world would be to make their parents happy or their dreams come true. I have been very resistant on fulfilling my parents dreams myself. And while being a pro athlete is not something I hoped for my kid, I'm okay with difficult child's career choice and even excited that he has found something he both loves and excels in. And I understand this High School graduation party is such a small thing. It is good he does graduate, because it will leave him to a fine spot to continue his education later if his sport career ends sooner rather than later. But even not graduating wouldn't be the end of the world. He could still pick up there he left and just complete High School little later in adult High School and continue from there on, if need arises. And as said, he is in good pace to graduate next fall, that is in fact sooner than serious sport or music kids usually do. And five years from now absolutely no one remembers if difficult child kept a parties for his graduation or not.</p><p></p><p>difficult child decision to graduate at fall is not because of sport, well taking some extra time was, but they usually take a whole year more, not half a year. And also sport system is much more used to accommodate spring graduates. No junior national team camps or anything like that near spring finals dates. Junior level schedule is put together to be the best possible match for spring graduates and their timetable (school finals are national, so everyone is on the same timetable.) And for those already in men's teams at that age the teams tend to be very, very accommodating with school during graduation spring. difficult child's team will accommodate him also with his plans of fall graduation, but it is little bit of extra hassle for everyone. So difficult child choice was not because of the sport. </p><p></p><p>I do think it has more to do with being able to skip all the prom type things without having to explain. And mostly I think it is about really wanting to avoid that big party, parents bragging, everyone asking and wanting to know how he did, everyone being shocked that he has the grades he has (difficult child certainly doesn't look like a brainy kid) etc. Maybe poor boy was afraid he wouldn't be able to decline having a big party, if he would graduate at spring. Or at least that if not having a party many would ask why. He probably thinks that graduating at fall and not having party no one will even notice he graduates and he will be left in peace. </p><p></p><p>I'm also quite sure we can have some kind of graduating celebrations. difficult child will likely be totally okay with a family dinner to celebrate or something like that. And we can of course use his graduation gift as a carrot for that...</p><p></p><p>When difficult child did tell me he doesn't want any parties or anything like that, his body language did tell me that he knew I would be upset. I have to give him, that he has clearly matured lately. Two years ago he would had told a news he knew would upset me with very provocative attitude, spoiling for a fight. Or dropped the news and run, or not told at all before absolutely no other choice or before I heard from somewhere else. Now he was giving me an early warning (it's still five months to his graduation day) and while he was very tensed he tried to go for nonchalant instead of provocative. </p><p></p><p>Darn! Now I feel bad because I probably made difficult child feel bad and like he was a disappointment to me over this. And this certainly is not a thing I should be disappointed with him at. It is not like he would be making a bad choices here, just a little bit unconventional ones.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 536565, member: 14557"] I really don't know, why this graduation party thing is so big for me. And how on earth am I even surprised, that difficult child is not playing along with my dreams on this matter. I really don't think that kids job in this world would be to make their parents happy or their dreams come true. I have been very resistant on fulfilling my parents dreams myself. And while being a pro athlete is not something I hoped for my kid, I'm okay with difficult child's career choice and even excited that he has found something he both loves and excels in. And I understand this High School graduation party is such a small thing. It is good he does graduate, because it will leave him to a fine spot to continue his education later if his sport career ends sooner rather than later. But even not graduating wouldn't be the end of the world. He could still pick up there he left and just complete High School little later in adult High School and continue from there on, if need arises. And as said, he is in good pace to graduate next fall, that is in fact sooner than serious sport or music kids usually do. And five years from now absolutely no one remembers if difficult child kept a parties for his graduation or not. difficult child decision to graduate at fall is not because of sport, well taking some extra time was, but they usually take a whole year more, not half a year. And also sport system is much more used to accommodate spring graduates. No junior national team camps or anything like that near spring finals dates. Junior level schedule is put together to be the best possible match for spring graduates and their timetable (school finals are national, so everyone is on the same timetable.) And for those already in men's teams at that age the teams tend to be very, very accommodating with school during graduation spring. difficult child's team will accommodate him also with his plans of fall graduation, but it is little bit of extra hassle for everyone. So difficult child choice was not because of the sport. I do think it has more to do with being able to skip all the prom type things without having to explain. And mostly I think it is about really wanting to avoid that big party, parents bragging, everyone asking and wanting to know how he did, everyone being shocked that he has the grades he has (difficult child certainly doesn't look like a brainy kid) etc. Maybe poor boy was afraid he wouldn't be able to decline having a big party, if he would graduate at spring. Or at least that if not having a party many would ask why. He probably thinks that graduating at fall and not having party no one will even notice he graduates and he will be left in peace. I'm also quite sure we can have some kind of graduating celebrations. difficult child will likely be totally okay with a family dinner to celebrate or something like that. And we can of course use his graduation gift as a carrot for that... When difficult child did tell me he doesn't want any parties or anything like that, his body language did tell me that he knew I would be upset. I have to give him, that he has clearly matured lately. Two years ago he would had told a news he knew would upset me with very provocative attitude, spoiling for a fight. Or dropped the news and run, or not told at all before absolutely no other choice or before I heard from somewhere else. Now he was giving me an early warning (it's still five months to his graduation day) and while he was very tensed he tried to go for nonchalant instead of provocative. Darn! Now I feel bad because I probably made difficult child feel bad and like he was a disappointment to me over this. And this certainly is not a thing I should be disappointed with him at. It is not like he would be making a bad choices here, just a little bit unconventional ones. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Resentful feelings for having an unperfect kid. (looooong, whiny and stupid post)
Top