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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 621215" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Oh thank you, I am so sorry. Of course you are crushed and your hope---for today anyway---is flattened. Hugs to you. </p><p></p><p>I have often heard that any rehab has an influence. Hold tight to the thought that he has had some really good days there that may provide a foundation later on. </p><p></p><p>And thank you, I hear in your post a lot of responsibility for his actions and his decisions and his friends. You can't manage that, thank you, as much as you want to.</p><p></p><p>Even if he goes to the best high school in the world away from his old friends---if he wants to connect with them---he will. </p><p></p><p>It is up to HIM, thank you. Hold tight to that thought, too, thank you. Yes, sports would be great, it sounds like, and would keep him busy and tired!</p><p></p><p>You can't know his future, thank you, and the journey that he has to walk to build a life. For all of us, that journey is filled with twists and turns and disappointments and change. It is filled with uncertainty. We can handle that so much better for ourselves---accepting that truth---than we can for our precious difficult children.</p><p></p><p>I hope you are getting some good support from books and this board and groups like Al-Anon. This is the pathway to peace for you, thank you. </p><p></p><p>Why are you having to tell him about being expelled? Is that something THEY can do? </p><p></p><p>We are just bystanders, thank you, in others' lives and that is the hard work we have to do. We have to let them go and they have to make their own way, however ugly it is. It is the hardest thing we will ever do in our lives----to stand by and watch.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and prayers and hope and blessings for you today, thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 621215, member: 17542"] Oh thank you, I am so sorry. Of course you are crushed and your hope---for today anyway---is flattened. Hugs to you. I have often heard that any rehab has an influence. Hold tight to the thought that he has had some really good days there that may provide a foundation later on. And thank you, I hear in your post a lot of responsibility for his actions and his decisions and his friends. You can't manage that, thank you, as much as you want to. Even if he goes to the best high school in the world away from his old friends---if he wants to connect with them---he will. It is up to HIM, thank you. Hold tight to that thought, too, thank you. Yes, sports would be great, it sounds like, and would keep him busy and tired! You can't know his future, thank you, and the journey that he has to walk to build a life. For all of us, that journey is filled with twists and turns and disappointments and change. It is filled with uncertainty. We can handle that so much better for ourselves---accepting that truth---than we can for our precious difficult children. I hope you are getting some good support from books and this board and groups like Al-Anon. This is the pathway to peace for you, thank you. Why are you having to tell him about being expelled? Is that something THEY can do? We are just bystanders, thank you, in others' lives and that is the hard work we have to do. We have to let them go and they have to make their own way, however ugly it is. It is the hardest thing we will ever do in our lives----to stand by and watch. Hugs and prayers and hope and blessings for you today, thank you. [/QUOTE]
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