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Rough first night home for me with difficult child 2
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 134523" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think it was a rough day. the first day home, so worried he would upset someone and be sent back, and he lost it.</p><p> </p><p>With the punching, what happened in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when he did that? If they won't tell you ask for ALL the records, every single scrap, and read through them. The behavior reports and the consequences should be there. Be prepared for War & Peace type stacks of paper though. After 4 months in psychiatric hospital, my son had over 800 pages of notes in his chart. I have copies of all, reading them was very helpful.</p><p> </p><p>They will first send you a 1 page report, you have to call and say you want the whole chart. Have it sent to a supportive therapist so they won't charge you. Our therapist got them, went through them, and then gave them to me. She learned a LOT from them though.</p><p> </p><p>Set rules, consequences, and then be a broken record when he ignores you, hits, etc... Say "go to your room" or whatever, and just repeat it. </p><p> </p><p>The medications are so sedating I would wait until after dinner for them, and I would probably feed him dinner right after school and then a snack later if he is still awake.</p><p> </p><p>It can take several WEEKS to adjust, not jsut a few days or a week. </p><p> </p><p>Please don't let him get away with hitting you and then watching TV. It sets a really really scary precedent.</p><p> </p><p>We have different food rules. Each of my boys has certain food that they just gag over. Not a choice, but a physical reaction. thank you also is allergic to a number of things.</p><p> </p><p>If thank you doesn't eat dinner, he has a list of acceptable things HE can fix and clean up after. If he doesn't fix, he doesn't eat. Exception is made if I know that what is for dinner is something he just can't eat. Then I consult him and make a different simple thing for him. </p><p> </p><p>If he doesn't clean, next time he doesn't get the option. I make sure next time is the next day, or dinner if it is lunch. Just the next meal he does not get the option. NOT carried over for days - food should not be about punishment. </p><p> </p><p>He is very good about it. difficult child pushed more, but he also got these options and consequences. He got reasonable servings, and a smaller seconds if needed. </p><p> </p><p>sometimes hunger is so strong that if you eat you get sick to your stomach. It can HURT. Be sure he is eating lunch at school. Ask the school to check on it quietly. IF he doesn't like the food, let him pack. Or if you pack, make sure he eats (our school will not let them pitch anything left over unless it is liquid or sticky AND opened. It all comes home in the bag or lunch box. This way we KNOW if they are eating at lunch.)</p><p> </p><p>MAke sure he has enough protein. Check out the Zone Diet by Dr Sears. It uses a balanced amount of fat, protein and carbs. Preferably complex carbs. We found some major health benefits, and my difficult child and other kids are so much happier and less gfgish with it. At the very least we make sure they have a decent amount of protein with every meal, snack, etc.... No pigging on chips etc... They get a serving (see the bag for the size) and they get some meat, or milk, or something.</p><p> </p><p>The Zone has lots of books. Many recipes, ways to alter recipes you make, etc... It really helps.</p><p> </p><p>You all have to get used to each other again.</p><p> </p><p>Start as you want to continue.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs,</p><p> </p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 134523, member: 1233"] I think it was a rough day. the first day home, so worried he would upset someone and be sent back, and he lost it. With the punching, what happened in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when he did that? If they won't tell you ask for ALL the records, every single scrap, and read through them. The behavior reports and the consequences should be there. Be prepared for War & Peace type stacks of paper though. After 4 months in psychiatric hospital, my son had over 800 pages of notes in his chart. I have copies of all, reading them was very helpful. They will first send you a 1 page report, you have to call and say you want the whole chart. Have it sent to a supportive therapist so they won't charge you. Our therapist got them, went through them, and then gave them to me. She learned a LOT from them though. Set rules, consequences, and then be a broken record when he ignores you, hits, etc... Say "go to your room" or whatever, and just repeat it. The medications are so sedating I would wait until after dinner for them, and I would probably feed him dinner right after school and then a snack later if he is still awake. It can take several WEEKS to adjust, not jsut a few days or a week. Please don't let him get away with hitting you and then watching TV. It sets a really really scary precedent. We have different food rules. Each of my boys has certain food that they just gag over. Not a choice, but a physical reaction. thank you also is allergic to a number of things. If thank you doesn't eat dinner, he has a list of acceptable things HE can fix and clean up after. If he doesn't fix, he doesn't eat. Exception is made if I know that what is for dinner is something he just can't eat. Then I consult him and make a different simple thing for him. If he doesn't clean, next time he doesn't get the option. I make sure next time is the next day, or dinner if it is lunch. Just the next meal he does not get the option. NOT carried over for days - food should not be about punishment. He is very good about it. difficult child pushed more, but he also got these options and consequences. He got reasonable servings, and a smaller seconds if needed. sometimes hunger is so strong that if you eat you get sick to your stomach. It can HURT. Be sure he is eating lunch at school. Ask the school to check on it quietly. IF he doesn't like the food, let him pack. Or if you pack, make sure he eats (our school will not let them pitch anything left over unless it is liquid or sticky AND opened. It all comes home in the bag or lunch box. This way we KNOW if they are eating at lunch.) MAke sure he has enough protein. Check out the Zone Diet by Dr Sears. It uses a balanced amount of fat, protein and carbs. Preferably complex carbs. We found some major health benefits, and my difficult child and other kids are so much happier and less gfgish with it. At the very least we make sure they have a decent amount of protein with every meal, snack, etc.... No pigging on chips etc... They get a serving (see the bag for the size) and they get some meat, or milk, or something. The Zone has lots of books. Many recipes, ways to alter recipes you make, etc... It really helps. You all have to get used to each other again. Start as you want to continue. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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