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<blockquote data-quote="Just me1972" data-source="post: 731580" data-attributes="member: 23002"><p>I never thought I would be in this position. Our 20 something son stole $10, 000 from us over the course of several months. He bought expensive gifts for his much older girlfriend (she is 18 years his senior with two kids in their very late teens). He paid a collection agency for a $1300 ring he purchased for a previous girlfriend, paid several hundred dollars to his cell phone bill, bought tickets to professional sports games. He even used our money to buy us Christmas gifts that we could not afford. The list goes on and on. He does work but was blowing his money as well and eventually his car was repossessed. He lives with us. To compound matters, my husband was unemployed for a year and was the primary bread winner. My meager salary does not cover our monthly expenses so we were eating up our savings every month. He is now back at work making a quarter of his previous salary and we are slowly getting back on our feet. When we discovered the money was gone we blew up at him. The choice was to recover the money by reporting the fraud and ultimately sending him to jail or kick him out. We did neither. I just couldn't bring myself to do either. He gives us a small amount of money when he gets paid but it's not every time he gets paid. We discussed at length with him how hurt and betrayed we were. Let him know we didn't trust him. He swore up and down it would never happen again. Two days ago we discovered another $200 gone. Fortunately we were able to recover it. My husband is livid and wants to kick him out. We have changed credit card numbers, passwords and the like several times. We take all of those things to our room every night and never leave things lying around but he has managed to get the numbers again. Clearly this isn't going to stop. Further, he knows what our current financial situation is and how much we pay for his brother's college tuition. My son is a good person. He is always willing to help, he is kind and caring so I am at a loss to understand why he does this. I don't know what to do. The thought of sending him to jail or even kicking him out when I know he has no place to go just breaks my heart. I am at the end of my rope. He has damaged his relationship with both of us and we don't know that we can ever trust him again. I guess I'm looking for some advice or even just some encouragement from other parents in this situation. I know that we have to make a big decision but with all of the financial issues we're having absent this issue, I don't know that I have the emotional strength to handle this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Just me1972, post: 731580, member: 23002"] I never thought I would be in this position. Our 20 something son stole $10, 000 from us over the course of several months. He bought expensive gifts for his much older girlfriend (she is 18 years his senior with two kids in their very late teens). He paid a collection agency for a $1300 ring he purchased for a previous girlfriend, paid several hundred dollars to his cell phone bill, bought tickets to professional sports games. He even used our money to buy us Christmas gifts that we could not afford. The list goes on and on. He does work but was blowing his money as well and eventually his car was repossessed. He lives with us. To compound matters, my husband was unemployed for a year and was the primary bread winner. My meager salary does not cover our monthly expenses so we were eating up our savings every month. He is now back at work making a quarter of his previous salary and we are slowly getting back on our feet. When we discovered the money was gone we blew up at him. The choice was to recover the money by reporting the fraud and ultimately sending him to jail or kick him out. We did neither. I just couldn't bring myself to do either. He gives us a small amount of money when he gets paid but it's not every time he gets paid. We discussed at length with him how hurt and betrayed we were. Let him know we didn't trust him. He swore up and down it would never happen again. Two days ago we discovered another $200 gone. Fortunately we were able to recover it. My husband is livid and wants to kick him out. We have changed credit card numbers, passwords and the like several times. We take all of those things to our room every night and never leave things lying around but he has managed to get the numbers again. Clearly this isn't going to stop. Further, he knows what our current financial situation is and how much we pay for his brother's college tuition. My son is a good person. He is always willing to help, he is kind and caring so I am at a loss to understand why he does this. I don't know what to do. The thought of sending him to jail or even kicking him out when I know he has no place to go just breaks my heart. I am at the end of my rope. He has damaged his relationship with both of us and we don't know that we can ever trust him again. I guess I'm looking for some advice or even just some encouragement from other parents in this situation. I know that we have to make a big decision but with all of the financial issues we're having absent this issue, I don't know that I have the emotional strength to handle this. [/QUOTE]
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