Hello JM. I am flabbergasted by your story. It is an outrageous amount of money. On top of that, to use it to buy expensive Christmas gifts for you, it is like a huge slap in your face.
There is something very wrong here.
I think I am more angry about this than you are.
It brings back memories of having stuff stolen from us. My hubs 25 years of treasure hunting- safe jimmied open and gone, what little pieces of heirloom jewelry I had, gone, money lifted from our wallets, we locked things up in our cars.
It was insane.
We were trying to help our kids and they just helped themselves to whatever they fancied. No apologies or regrets, in your face denial.
My son 14 at the time said to me “Why do we have people living with us who we can’t trust?”
He was right.
We finally said no more.
What you are putting up with your 20 year old son. You describe him as “nice” helpful. It sounds like he knows how to play you, to manipulate your heart so that he can keep thieving from you.
That is horrendous and unacceptable.
I am sorry for your heartache.
It is an unacceptable betrayal of trust.
There is something very wrong going on here. With my two, it was drugs.
If I had to do it all over again, I would have reported the theft. Our problem was that it was not traceable. Small amounts here and there. Jewelry that was not insured. Cash from our wallets.
With your situation, this is credit card theft. Traceable and recoverable. On top of ten grand, he stole again.
What about your credit? Your retirement?
You matter, all of your hard work matters.
If our adult children don’t have to pay consequences for their misdeeds, it just emboldens them to keep doing what they are doing.
They don’t learn.
I agree with you Mimi with one exception, you did not put your son in jail, he put himself there.
There are limits and boundaries that we set for ourselves even with our own adult kids. They cross a line, and expect for us to look the other way. It is not right for them to completely disrespect their parents, to abuse our love for them.
10,000 is a lot of money. I am so sorry for your situation. I know it is a hard thing to stand up to the reality of this.
How will your son learn otherwise? His stealing again shows that he has not learned and has a deep seated issue.
It is your decision to make, how to move forward. You have to be able to live with yourself, look yourself in the mirror.
You and your husband don’t deserve to be mistreated this way.
It is abusive and wrong.
You would not accept this from a stranger. Don’t accept it from your son.
I am so sorry.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy
