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Parent Emeritus
Sad heart gets a little sunshine
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 673957" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Welcome to the forum, Marc. </p><p></p><p>It's great news that your daughter is saying this. That is of course the first step. The hardest part for them (and for us) when we decide we want to change is....actually changing....and then the third step...sticking to the change.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't mean we aren't 100 percent sincere, but it also doesn't mean we can do it. We certainly can't do it on our own. It is nearly impossible.</p><p></p><p>Stand back for right now, is my best advice. Be supportive in your words and in your tone of voice, but say little except that's great, I love you, and I know you can do it. </p><p></p><p>When I started working hard on myself, it took a whole lot of tools to help me every single day. She will have to have tools, that is well-documented, and most addicts need rehab, a 12-step program, a sponsor, brand new friends, help with a job and learning new life skills...and most addicts relapse (like we do in our recovery from enabling).</p><p></p><p>It helped me so much when I could see myself on the same road.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there Marc. This IS a good day. It's up to her to walk the road, not you. Support can be just verbal and that is the best kind, in my opinion.</p><p></p><p>We're here for you as you walk your own road. Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 673957, member: 17542"] Welcome to the forum, Marc. It's great news that your daughter is saying this. That is of course the first step. The hardest part for them (and for us) when we decide we want to change is....actually changing....and then the third step...sticking to the change. It doesn't mean we aren't 100 percent sincere, but it also doesn't mean we can do it. We certainly can't do it on our own. It is nearly impossible. Stand back for right now, is my best advice. Be supportive in your words and in your tone of voice, but say little except that's great, I love you, and I know you can do it. When I started working hard on myself, it took a whole lot of tools to help me every single day. She will have to have tools, that is well-documented, and most addicts need rehab, a 12-step program, a sponsor, brand new friends, help with a job and learning new life skills...and most addicts relapse (like we do in our recovery from enabling). It helped me so much when I could see myself on the same road. Hang in there Marc. This IS a good day. It's up to her to walk the road, not you. Support can be just verbal and that is the best kind, in my opinion. We're here for you as you walk your own road. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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