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Substance Abuse
Sad, venting, confused
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 753917" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Helpless,</p><p>I am so sorry for the grief of this. It is hard when our kids (or grandkids) go off the rails. Especially at a young age. It is all about choices, when those choices endanger our household and younger siblings, it becomes a safety issue for everyone concerned, even our wayward kids.</p><p>I am sad my eldest grandson had to leave my home but it became quite clear that he was unwilling to listen and was rapidly spiraling into the rabbit hole. I feel relief that he is not here and so do his siblings. Yes, I am relieved. I feel he has a chance to turn around away from us. Having him in my home emboldened him to test his size against all of us, he followed no boundaries and was extremely disrespectful. We all walked on eggshells.</p><p>When my daughter was in jail she would beg constantly to come home. I went into a rut and despaired over the holidays due to this. But, I knew having her in my home would just invoke more of the same old, same old.</p><p>It is not the end of any of our wayward kids stories. They can choose differently. That doesn’t depend on them living with us, in fact, for some of our kids I think being in our homes is detrimental to their growth and desire to change, to want better.</p><p>I think that with the right therapist you will be able to process all that has happened and be able to accept truths that are difficult to face alone. One of the biggest being that you are worthy of feeling safe in your own home. Another is taking a good honest look at how your sons choices affect everyone in your household.</p><p>I am so sorry for the pain of this. We want the best for our children. They have to want the best for themselves. They have to understand that their actions affect others. They have to care about that. Unfortunately, for now, that doesn’t seem to be on their radar. I agree with Copa and the others that you are making the right choice, it is hard especially during the holidays, but it is right.</p><p>May you find peace within yourself.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 753917, member: 19522"] Hi Helpless, I am so sorry for the grief of this. It is hard when our kids (or grandkids) go off the rails. Especially at a young age. It is all about choices, when those choices endanger our household and younger siblings, it becomes a safety issue for everyone concerned, even our wayward kids. I am sad my eldest grandson had to leave my home but it became quite clear that he was unwilling to listen and was rapidly spiraling into the rabbit hole. I feel relief that he is not here and so do his siblings. Yes, I am relieved. I feel he has a chance to turn around away from us. Having him in my home emboldened him to test his size against all of us, he followed no boundaries and was extremely disrespectful. We all walked on eggshells. When my daughter was in jail she would beg constantly to come home. I went into a rut and despaired over the holidays due to this. But, I knew having her in my home would just invoke more of the same old, same old. It is not the end of any of our wayward kids stories. They can choose differently. That doesn’t depend on them living with us, in fact, for some of our kids I think being in our homes is detrimental to their growth and desire to change, to want better. I think that with the right therapist you will be able to process all that has happened and be able to accept truths that are difficult to face alone. One of the biggest being that you are worthy of feeling safe in your own home. Another is taking a good honest look at how your sons choices affect everyone in your household. I am so sorry for the pain of this. We want the best for our children. They have to want the best for themselves. They have to understand that their actions affect others. They have to care about that. Unfortunately, for now, that doesn’t seem to be on their radar. I agree with Copa and the others that you are making the right choice, it is hard especially during the holidays, but it is right. May you find peace within yourself. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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