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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725570" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You too, hon! We can't let our kids ruin our Christmas! We who are married are lucky. Although my two in Wisconsin are not difficult, I am not happy at the way our Christmas plans worked out this year. Seems like we are getting less time as opposed to Jumper' s fiance' s larger and probably more fun family.</p><p></p><p>Even with my three good kids, there are times I ask myself why I had kids at all. They can hurt us without even knowing it and I hope it goes well and I can handle my simmering resentment. Oh, outwardly I will be all smiles. Inwardly, who knows? I am thinking that even I, with three nice adult kids, have to diminish their importance in my life and move on. I think we always love our kids more than they love us. And it will be the same with their kids and them. So one day they will get it. And down through the generations it will go.</p><p></p><p>We have to even plan our holidays to make us happy, not them. We need to be mature adults who do not lean too much on our even nice adult kids and grandkids. We share them...with their in-laws and friends. It is not just us, although they love us. They don't want to amuse us. They need to spread themselves amongst many people. And in Ju.per's case, fiance' s family has lots of You g people so it is probably more fun at their celebrations than our small family. It sucks. It hurts. I have tears in my eyes now. I can't make our small family as fun as their family.</p><p></p><p> WE need to amuse us. Like your trip to Mexico. Percect! Our kids are ours until eighteen, then the amount of time they give us is up to them and dependent upon their schuedules, how many people are in their lives, how much time their jobs take up, where we live in proportion to them and a host of other issues, mostly on their part. The house we helped the kids buy is right near the in-laws. We can move there too ..but we don't really want to live in that town. A close one, yes, but not a mile away...I feel cheated, like a silly child. But Jumper will never know. I owe her my maturity and she would be upset to know she upset me. But I don't want to force her extra attention. We do see her almost every week.</p><p></p><p>But she lives with them, or did before buying their house, when she and fiance were in town. I sometimes wonder if his mother is an equal mother to her in her eyes, but I will never bring up all my insecurities. I can live without asking.</p><p></p><p>I need to remember that only I can fulfill me with some help from my spouse! My kids think what they think. I can do this! No, this is one thing my husband doesn't get, thinks is silly.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes I just have to trust Source (God), my angels, my Spirit Guides and the Universe. I totally believe that every single thing that happens is to teach us us and elevate our eternal soul's vibration. Tonight...I will do a beautiful meditation.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong. Every mother must. All of us have insecurities, even those of us with right way kids who have good hearts. It is not just those with difficult kids!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725570, member: 1550"] You too, hon! We can't let our kids ruin our Christmas! We who are married are lucky. Although my two in Wisconsin are not difficult, I am not happy at the way our Christmas plans worked out this year. Seems like we are getting less time as opposed to Jumper' s fiance' s larger and probably more fun family. Even with my three good kids, there are times I ask myself why I had kids at all. They can hurt us without even knowing it and I hope it goes well and I can handle my simmering resentment. Oh, outwardly I will be all smiles. Inwardly, who knows? I am thinking that even I, with three nice adult kids, have to diminish their importance in my life and move on. I think we always love our kids more than they love us. And it will be the same with their kids and them. So one day they will get it. And down through the generations it will go. We have to even plan our holidays to make us happy, not them. We need to be mature adults who do not lean too much on our even nice adult kids and grandkids. We share them...with their in-laws and friends. It is not just us, although they love us. They don't want to amuse us. They need to spread themselves amongst many people. And in Ju.per's case, fiance' s family has lots of You g people so it is probably more fun at their celebrations than our small family. It sucks. It hurts. I have tears in my eyes now. I can't make our small family as fun as their family. WE need to amuse us. Like your trip to Mexico. Percect! Our kids are ours until eighteen, then the amount of time they give us is up to them and dependent upon their schuedules, how many people are in their lives, how much time their jobs take up, where we live in proportion to them and a host of other issues, mostly on their part. The house we helped the kids buy is right near the in-laws. We can move there too ..but we don't really want to live in that town. A close one, yes, but not a mile away...I feel cheated, like a silly child. But Jumper will never know. I owe her my maturity and she would be upset to know she upset me. But I don't want to force her extra attention. We do see her almost every week. But she lives with them, or did before buying their house, when she and fiance were in town. I sometimes wonder if his mother is an equal mother to her in her eyes, but I will never bring up all my insecurities. I can live without asking. I need to remember that only I can fulfill me with some help from my spouse! My kids think what they think. I can do this! No, this is one thing my husband doesn't get, thinks is silly. Sometimes I just have to trust Source (God), my angels, my Spirit Guides and the Universe. I totally believe that every single thing that happens is to teach us us and elevate our eternal soul's vibration. Tonight...I will do a beautiful meditation. Stay strong. Every mother must. All of us have insecurities, even those of us with right way kids who have good hearts. It is not just those with difficult kids! [/QUOTE]
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