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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 725831" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Yup, hostages. Once we are drawn into the sticky web of addiction, we are right were the addict and drug of choice wants us to be. It is a hard reality to learn, but when we realize the truth of it, look back on the swirly whirly, we begin to understand how the cycle continues. Drugs are the focal point for our addicted d cs, they use drugs <em>and use us. </em></p><p>The empty promises and lies cut to the heart, my d cs don’t bat an eye over <em>any of it.</em></p><p>Breaking free of it takes work.</p><p>No expectations. Hope, but no guarantees. Breaking away from a desired outcome for a loved one is not easy. The more I envision the life I would like my two to have, the more tangled up I get.</p><p>So, the reality bites, but looking at it hard in the face is liberating.</p><p>That voice inside my head that kept arguing and pontificating that “this is not how I raised my two”, or, “this is not them!” had to give way to “this is them, now, on drugs.”</p><p>Sad, but true.</p><p>The “this is them now” keeps me a little more on my toes. Holidays and expecting even a phone call? Huh. Nope. Did I buy gifts for them? Nope. I didn’t see them. Didn’t expect to.</p><p>We have pared way down on gifts, opting to spend time with one another, my well kids and grands. It will be the same for the New Year.</p><p>My two are content at the moment to just barely scrape by.</p><p>It is what it is.</p><p>LBL, this is good news that your son proceeded on his intake for rehab. Hopefully he will find a bed soon.</p><p>Take care of yourself, the flu is a bad one this year.</p><p>Hope you are feeling better!</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 725831, member: 19522"] Yup, hostages. Once we are drawn into the sticky web of addiction, we are right were the addict and drug of choice wants us to be. It is a hard reality to learn, but when we realize the truth of it, look back on the swirly whirly, we begin to understand how the cycle continues. Drugs are the focal point for our addicted d cs, they use drugs [I]and use us. [/I] The empty promises and lies cut to the heart, my d cs don’t bat an eye over [I]any of it.[/I] Breaking free of it takes work. No expectations. Hope, but no guarantees. Breaking away from a desired outcome for a loved one is not easy. The more I envision the life I would like my two to have, the more tangled up I get. So, the reality bites, but looking at it hard in the face is liberating. That voice inside my head that kept arguing and pontificating that “this is not how I raised my two”, or, “this is not them!” had to give way to “this is them, now, on drugs.” Sad, but true. The “this is them now” keeps me a little more on my toes. Holidays and expecting even a phone call? Huh. Nope. Did I buy gifts for them? Nope. I didn’t see them. Didn’t expect to. We have pared way down on gifts, opting to spend time with one another, my well kids and grands. It will be the same for the New Year. My two are content at the moment to just barely scrape by. It is what it is. LBL, this is good news that your son proceeded on his intake for rehab. Hopefully he will find a bed soon. Take care of yourself, the flu is a bad one this year. Hope you are feeling better! (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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