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Substance Abuse
Seeing the Paths of our Difficult Children in a Positive Light
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 673149" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>New Leaf, please accept me at my word when I say you did not offend or hurt me. One of the responsibilities of a mod is to try to make sure things do not get blown out of proportion or comments made about others do not start an us against them attitude. It is not always easy to be a mod, we sometimes have to say things that others may take the wrong way but we have the experience and input from years being on this board to know what can happen, how things can and do get blown out of proportion. </p><p></p><p>I am probably one of the most sensitive people in the world. It has been a challenge for me, it has stood in the way of relationships over the years. I had to work very hard to conquer that and while I am doing much better I still find it a problem at times. I would never knowingly say something that hurt someone else. My daughter is the same way, it is like looking into a mirror. I wish with all my might that I could change that for her because I see her struggling like I did for so many years. I see people turn away from her at times because they are always having to explain themselves and they can't just have an easy relationship. But I can't fix that for her, she has to do it herself. She has a tendency to take every sentence someone says and analyse it and that drives people away.</p><p></p><p>I try to explain it to her like this, when you were a child and did something wrong I corrected you. It did not mean I didn't love you anymore. When your gymnastics coach corrected your routines it didn't mean you weren't a very talented gymnast, he was trying to make you better. If your teacher reprimands you in class for talking it doesn't mean she doesn't like you anymore. I hate that I passed that down to her but her sensitivity also makes her the wonderful person that she is.</p><p></p><p>My point is that I made a mistake in how I worded something and I have apologized for that. I will repeat though that if there is a problem with what a mod has said that mod should be addressed and not have the conversation come up again in another thread and have people analyze and discuss it. That only causes hurt and continues the misunderstanding. We have seen cliques on this board over the years and that can tear apart the board very quickly. I would hate to see any of that happen by people taking sides. Like you say we are all in this together.</p><p></p><p>We all make mistakes and say things that we perhaps did not intend to come out that way. The mods are no exception. We all have to be aware of that and move on. I can't tell you the number of times that text messages have been taken wrong and out of context with people I have texted with. </p><p></p><p>I hope I have explained my feelings to you and have not offended you. I honestly hope this puts it to rest because I am not offended or hurt. I hope we can all move on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 673149, member: 59"] New Leaf, please accept me at my word when I say you did not offend or hurt me. One of the responsibilities of a mod is to try to make sure things do not get blown out of proportion or comments made about others do not start an us against them attitude. It is not always easy to be a mod, we sometimes have to say things that others may take the wrong way but we have the experience and input from years being on this board to know what can happen, how things can and do get blown out of proportion. I am probably one of the most sensitive people in the world. It has been a challenge for me, it has stood in the way of relationships over the years. I had to work very hard to conquer that and while I am doing much better I still find it a problem at times. I would never knowingly say something that hurt someone else. My daughter is the same way, it is like looking into a mirror. I wish with all my might that I could change that for her because I see her struggling like I did for so many years. I see people turn away from her at times because they are always having to explain themselves and they can't just have an easy relationship. But I can't fix that for her, she has to do it herself. She has a tendency to take every sentence someone says and analyse it and that drives people away. I try to explain it to her like this, when you were a child and did something wrong I corrected you. It did not mean I didn't love you anymore. When your gymnastics coach corrected your routines it didn't mean you weren't a very talented gymnast, he was trying to make you better. If your teacher reprimands you in class for talking it doesn't mean she doesn't like you anymore. I hate that I passed that down to her but her sensitivity also makes her the wonderful person that she is. My point is that I made a mistake in how I worded something and I have apologized for that. I will repeat though that if there is a problem with what a mod has said that mod should be addressed and not have the conversation come up again in another thread and have people analyze and discuss it. That only causes hurt and continues the misunderstanding. We have seen cliques on this board over the years and that can tear apart the board very quickly. I would hate to see any of that happen by people taking sides. Like you say we are all in this together. We all make mistakes and say things that we perhaps did not intend to come out that way. The mods are no exception. We all have to be aware of that and move on. I can't tell you the number of times that text messages have been taken wrong and out of context with people I have texted with. I hope I have explained my feelings to you and have not offended you. I honestly hope this puts it to rest because I am not offended or hurt. I hope we can all move on. [/QUOTE]
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