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Substance Abuse
Seeing the Paths of our Difficult Children in a Positive Light
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 673242" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Oh Sea, I think most of us have been where you are. You can count me in on that for several times over. I do hear what you are writing about. This is going to take a lot of work for me, too. I think it is worth a try.</p><p>The whole point of it is to shift focus from all of the intense feelings we go through with our d c's. Instead of riding their roller coaster, we create a steady state for ourselves. Thinking this way has started to make it better for me, day by day.</p><p></p><p>Everything seems to come in waxing and waning like the moon. The tides.</p><p>One day it's ok, the next the feelings come.</p><p></p><p>So, if we can focus to strengthen ourselves, the next encounter with our d c's, our response will be better. Until each time we'll be less and less drawn into or affected by the drama.</p><p>Instead of the mournful pleas of a distraught mama, begging for phone calls, text, etc. we will be strong. We will have practiced in our heads the vision. " You are beautiful, you have a bright future you can do this. I love you"</p><p>Attached to that is "No, you cannot stay here and I will not give you money. You can do this, be self sufficient. I love you."</p><p>I don't even have to mention drugs, or rehab. That just causes the scene and then I am sucked in. I am not saying this will work for everybody, but it's worth a try. It sure beats sitting at home wringing my hands worried and fretting over my two. If I give them and my grands to God and trust in Him, He will take care of the rest. If I do that,then worry myself silly, I have trust issues.</p><p>I want relief from all of this too, Sea, it's been too long. I am in the winter of my life, and I want to live as best I can.</p><p>You post any old time and I will answer as quick as I can. We are all in this together. Thank you for giving me strength with your convictions to stay the course.</p><p>You are the very one who knows life can throw some tough stuff at us. This has got to be one of the toughest, watching our adult kids hit the dirt hard with substance abuse.</p><p>I think it was Cedar who mentioned that Anthony Bourdain was once a heroin user. Now he is a world traveler. One never knows. There is always hope.</p><p></p><p>We will be okay Sea, we will get through this.</p><p>One day at a time</p><p>I'm going to eat better, too, I think I have a couple more channel crossings in me, God willing!</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 673242, member: 19522"] Oh Sea, I think most of us have been where you are. You can count me in on that for several times over. I do hear what you are writing about. This is going to take a lot of work for me, too. I think it is worth a try. The whole point of it is to shift focus from all of the intense feelings we go through with our d c's. Instead of riding their roller coaster, we create a steady state for ourselves. Thinking this way has started to make it better for me, day by day. Everything seems to come in waxing and waning like the moon. The tides. One day it's ok, the next the feelings come. So, if we can focus to strengthen ourselves, the next encounter with our d c's, our response will be better. Until each time we'll be less and less drawn into or affected by the drama. Instead of the mournful pleas of a distraught mama, begging for phone calls, text, etc. we will be strong. We will have practiced in our heads the vision. " You are beautiful, you have a bright future you can do this. I love you" Attached to that is "No, you cannot stay here and I will not give you money. You can do this, be self sufficient. I love you." I don't even have to mention drugs, or rehab. That just causes the scene and then I am sucked in. I am not saying this will work for everybody, but it's worth a try. It sure beats sitting at home wringing my hands worried and fretting over my two. If I give them and my grands to God and trust in Him, He will take care of the rest. If I do that,then worry myself silly, I have trust issues. I want relief from all of this too, Sea, it's been too long. I am in the winter of my life, and I want to live as best I can. You post any old time and I will answer as quick as I can. We are all in this together. Thank you for giving me strength with your convictions to stay the course. You are the very one who knows life can throw some tough stuff at us. This has got to be one of the toughest, watching our adult kids hit the dirt hard with substance abuse. I think it was Cedar who mentioned that Anthony Bourdain was once a heroin user. Now he is a world traveler. One never knows. There is always hope. We will be okay Sea, we will get through this. One day at a time I'm going to eat better, too, I think I have a couple more channel crossings in me, God willing! (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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