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General Parenting
Self-doubt and Adrenaline Crash: We sent our son to residential treatment
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 406420" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Oh my goodness - that has to be just about the very *best* description of it I have ever read!!!! You are utterly brilliant!!!</p><p></p><p>Welcome, and I'm so glad you found us. I believe with all my heart that when a family starts to consider the option of Residential Treatment Center (RTC), they have probably more than exhausted all other options. The last thing we want to do is have our child live outside our home. So, without even knowing your story, I would guess that sending him to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was probably your best option at this point.</p><p></p><p>Will he recover? Can't tell you that. Some kids are able to utilize tools they learn at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and learn how to function in their home communities. Others don't/won't/can't. </p><p></p><p>How will you know if it's a good placement? Follow your gut, but temper initial knee-jerk responses. Communication with staff is essential. Talk with staff, and visit as frequently as possible. Look at the living quarters of the kids. Look at the other kids - not only their physical appearance but also their affect. Chances are, if you have good communication with- staff and are a frequent visitor, you are going to have a better feel for what is going on. If alarms are going off in your head, *talk* with staff and make sure that what they're telling you makes sense. </p><p></p><p>Prepare yourself for tearful phone calls from him and for promises of miraculous improvements in behaviors if you will only bring him home. It seems to be part of the process. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with, but forewarned is forearmed.</p><p> </p><p>I think the most important thing you need to do is (walk away from the ice cream, LOL) take care of yourself. I'm sure you've been battered emotionally, if not physically, by the events surrounding your son's placement. It is time for TLC for dear old Mom and Dad. Do *NOT* feel guilty for taking pleasure in activities. You are allowed. You are *supposed* to have joy in your life. The first time my son left for Residential Treatment Center (RTC), it took me 6 months to figure that out, and another 6 months to figure out that life goes on, whether he's here or there (but I'm a really slow learner <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/winks.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":winks:" title="winks :winks:" data-shortname=":winks:" /> ). He's in a safe place, getting help at a level that you could never duplicate at home. He needs to work on his stuff, and you need to take care of you.</p><p></p><p>Again - welcome. I'm so very sorry your family is going thru this right now, but know that you are not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 406420, member: 8"] Oh my goodness - that has to be just about the very *best* description of it I have ever read!!!! You are utterly brilliant!!! Welcome, and I'm so glad you found us. I believe with all my heart that when a family starts to consider the option of Residential Treatment Center (RTC), they have probably more than exhausted all other options. The last thing we want to do is have our child live outside our home. So, without even knowing your story, I would guess that sending him to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was probably your best option at this point. Will he recover? Can't tell you that. Some kids are able to utilize tools they learn at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and learn how to function in their home communities. Others don't/won't/can't. How will you know if it's a good placement? Follow your gut, but temper initial knee-jerk responses. Communication with staff is essential. Talk with staff, and visit as frequently as possible. Look at the living quarters of the kids. Look at the other kids - not only their physical appearance but also their affect. Chances are, if you have good communication with- staff and are a frequent visitor, you are going to have a better feel for what is going on. If alarms are going off in your head, *talk* with staff and make sure that what they're telling you makes sense. Prepare yourself for tearful phone calls from him and for promises of miraculous improvements in behaviors if you will only bring him home. It seems to be part of the process. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with, but forewarned is forearmed. I think the most important thing you need to do is (walk away from the ice cream, LOL) take care of yourself. I'm sure you've been battered emotionally, if not physically, by the events surrounding your son's placement. It is time for TLC for dear old Mom and Dad. Do *NOT* feel guilty for taking pleasure in activities. You are allowed. You are *supposed* to have joy in your life. The first time my son left for Residential Treatment Center (RTC), it took me 6 months to figure that out, and another 6 months to figure out that life goes on, whether he's here or there (but I'm a really slow learner :winks: ). He's in a safe place, getting help at a level that you could never duplicate at home. He needs to work on his stuff, and you need to take care of you. Again - welcome. I'm so very sorry your family is going thru this right now, but know that you are not alone. [/QUOTE]
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