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Self-Forgiveness
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 667582" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Yes, Cedar. She used to wake me up for no reason other than to scream at me about something that had happened weeks ago that had allegedly been resolved and forgotten. When I dream about her now, every dream is a nightmare, I am always a little girl in the dream (or a teenager) and she is always mean to me.</p><p></p><p>I think I am done playing the blame and shame game. I'm not to blame and I don't feel shame anymore. More regret that I didn't stop playing the sick FOO game of "blame me" earlier. I saw a great quote in a book and I was going to post it here, but I lost my place and can't find where it is now. I can't repeat the quote, but essentially it said, "It doesn't matter why something happened. It happened. Let go of it and move on."</p><p></p><p>Where I am in my life journey, I really like that and am sort of doing it. We have already analyzed our lives and our FOOs over and over again. I can pretty much figure out where, from my point of view (which in MY healing is all that matters) how anything came about with them. I can move on. I can let it go. I can feel peaceful that I did my main work and will not forget it. I will never again allow that type of dysfunction in my life in any way again.</p><p></p><p>They cut me off/shunned me is more like it.</p><p></p><p>I accept being shunned and insist on it now. I have the final say over my own life. They can not come back. Ever. For any reason, including death or dying. Mine or theirs. I've been shunned so often that I like it now...lol. The rest of my life, however long, will be filled only with loved ones. Selfish? I don't care. There is nothing they need from me and I have nothing to give them.</p><p></p><p>DONE!!!!!!!<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/winnersmiley.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":winnersmiley:" title="winnersmiley :winnersmiley:" data-shortname=":winnersmiley:" /> This is how I see myself. I won. I won the right to dictate my own life and define myself. I won the right to live in peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 667582, member: 1550"] Yes, Cedar. She used to wake me up for no reason other than to scream at me about something that had happened weeks ago that had allegedly been resolved and forgotten. When I dream about her now, every dream is a nightmare, I am always a little girl in the dream (or a teenager) and she is always mean to me. I think I am done playing the blame and shame game. I'm not to blame and I don't feel shame anymore. More regret that I didn't stop playing the sick FOO game of "blame me" earlier. I saw a great quote in a book and I was going to post it here, but I lost my place and can't find where it is now. I can't repeat the quote, but essentially it said, "It doesn't matter why something happened. It happened. Let go of it and move on." Where I am in my life journey, I really like that and am sort of doing it. We have already analyzed our lives and our FOOs over and over again. I can pretty much figure out where, from my point of view (which in MY healing is all that matters) how anything came about with them. I can move on. I can let it go. I can feel peaceful that I did my main work and will not forget it. I will never again allow that type of dysfunction in my life in any way again. They cut me off/shunned me is more like it. I accept being shunned and insist on it now. I have the final say over my own life. They can not come back. Ever. For any reason, including death or dying. Mine or theirs. I've been shunned so often that I like it now...lol. The rest of my life, however long, will be filled only with loved ones. Selfish? I don't care. There is nothing they need from me and I have nothing to give them. DONE!!!!!!!:winnersmiley: This is how I see myself. I won. I won the right to dictate my own life and define myself. I won the right to live in peace. [/QUOTE]
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