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Family of Origin
Self-Forgiveness
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 667586" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I am coming along Serenity, but I am not where you are just yet. I am with you on not needing to review incidents to change my perspective from that of the abuser abusing me, to me, watching the abuser abuse.</p><p></p><p>That was scary stuff.</p><p></p><p>The risk of sealing the traumatic event unchanged in yet another layer of shame is very real, when we begin.</p><p></p><p>I am coming clear on Copa's assertion that Joseph cried because the brothers remained trapped. But I am still seething away over compassion for the brothers who should have been decent enough to have not sold Joseph into slavery, and am still assigning responsibility for having sold myself into slavery and never getting that family dinner.</p><p></p><p>Well, okay. So I am not so clear on that part.</p><p></p><p>Yet.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to trick myself into family of origin thinking. I think that's what it is. The difference between where you are and where I am, I mean. You are sure. I am still waffling around, wondering whether selling myself out for that family dinner would be the worst thing in the world.</p><p></p><p>But once we see it, we cannot unsee it. I will come through this part shortly, I think.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, Serenity.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 667586, member: 17461"] I am coming along Serenity, but I am not where you are just yet. I am with you on not needing to review incidents to change my perspective from that of the abuser abusing me, to me, watching the abuser abuse. That was scary stuff. The risk of sealing the traumatic event unchanged in yet another layer of shame is very real, when we begin. I am coming clear on Copa's assertion that Joseph cried because the brothers remained trapped. But I am still seething away over compassion for the brothers who should have been decent enough to have not sold Joseph into slavery, and am still assigning responsibility for having sold myself into slavery and never getting that family dinner. Well, okay. So I am not so clear on that part. Yet. I don't want to trick myself into family of origin thinking. I think that's what it is. The difference between where you are and where I am, I mean. You are sure. I am still waffling around, wondering whether selling myself out for that family dinner would be the worst thing in the world. But once we see it, we cannot unsee it. I will come through this part shortly, I think. Thank you, Serenity. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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