It's usually heard in the attidtude, "O.K., let's end this. Spank me - that is what you want to do - just get it over with." A snooty "I will tell you what to do" attitude. He does not want to face an unknown situation. He wants to know ahead of time what will happen. He has no idea what I am going to do so he will try to get things to go his way.
Once in awhile there will be an indication that he really does feel bad and wants a punishment. However, even then, I do not want difficult child to look at spanking or hitting as an end to the situation without having to think about what just happened and wonder if he would like to go through that again. He has to receive the right discipline.
I would like him to face up to his responsibilities.
Smallworld, you are correct. We do need to keep how they are feeling in mind. I think when we can recognize a situation for being, "I am tired or hungry", "I am hurting" or "I want my way now" it helps in what we need to do in dealing with the behavior. The differences can be so sublte and difficult to read sometimes. I usually try to watch for what lead up to this point to make that determination.
