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Sent the email that said NO $ to gfg32
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 620352" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If you've ever read the book "Boundaries" by Townsend and Cloud, I believe, the book explains how dysfunctional people rage and get irrational and hysterical when you suddenly set reasonable boundaries down on them. Your difficult child is acting predictably, just like most of ours have acted once we cut off the free ride. Expect it to get worse. I would recommend, if you can manage to contain yourself, just deleting his e-mails without reading them. Ditto for any texts or FB messages. It makes sense that he would now bug his siblings, after all this time. He's angry at wants to get them involved in his anger too, even if it's for petty reasons. This is a man who likes to control everybody and it will bring him much sorrow. Maturity will hopefully show him that he can only control himself. He may pout a long time once he realizes he can't bully you into doing what he wants. That's usually the next step...silence while they pout. It is to punish us for not continuing to hand out free money or difficult favors or for not putting up with their abuse anymore. How dare we! It's NOT just your son. It's a typical difficult child thang.</p><p></p><p>I am very proud of your progress. You are doing great. None of us did this well or easily at first. It takes a lot of time. One helpful hint I can pass along is to try to practice what is called "radical acceptance." That means, in simple terms, that life right now is what it is and your son is what he is. What is happening now is happening. We can be annoyed or angry, but since we can't change it, we can try to divert our mind back on the moment; onto what we are doing at the time...and try not to focus on the unpleasantness of your son's behavior. Since you can't change it, why make yourself suffer over it? That doesn't make a whole lotta sense, right? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Have a serene and peaceful night (or try) and see how good you can get at deleting the e-mails. Gentle hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 620352, member: 1550"] If you've ever read the book "Boundaries" by Townsend and Cloud, I believe, the book explains how dysfunctional people rage and get irrational and hysterical when you suddenly set reasonable boundaries down on them. Your difficult child is acting predictably, just like most of ours have acted once we cut off the free ride. Expect it to get worse. I would recommend, if you can manage to contain yourself, just deleting his e-mails without reading them. Ditto for any texts or FB messages. It makes sense that he would now bug his siblings, after all this time. He's angry at wants to get them involved in his anger too, even if it's for petty reasons. This is a man who likes to control everybody and it will bring him much sorrow. Maturity will hopefully show him that he can only control himself. He may pout a long time once he realizes he can't bully you into doing what he wants. That's usually the next step...silence while they pout. It is to punish us for not continuing to hand out free money or difficult favors or for not putting up with their abuse anymore. How dare we! It's NOT just your son. It's a typical difficult child thang. I am very proud of your progress. You are doing great. None of us did this well or easily at first. It takes a lot of time. One helpful hint I can pass along is to try to practice what is called "radical acceptance." That means, in simple terms, that life right now is what it is and your son is what he is. What is happening now is happening. We can be annoyed or angry, but since we can't change it, we can try to divert our mind back on the moment; onto what we are doing at the time...and try not to focus on the unpleasantness of your son's behavior. Since you can't change it, why make yourself suffer over it? That doesn't make a whole lotta sense, right? :) Have a serene and peaceful night (or try) and see how good you can get at deleting the e-mails. Gentle hugs. [/QUOTE]
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