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Parent Emeritus
Setting boundaries is rough but it's doable
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 709446" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Joyseph, you are showing so much strength! I know how hard it is to fight those feelings of guilt but you are doing what is best for both of you.</p><p></p><p>Your son needs to start learning how to live his life on his own. Will it be difficult? Probably but he has to live his own life. Good or bad. </p><p></p><p>You also need to live your life. We as parents have spent so many years trying to hold our adult children's lives together for them that we forget about our own. </p><p></p><p>Each day, do one small thing for yourself. Buy a special cup of coffee, buy an ice cream, buy some flowers, go for a walk, take a bubble bath, binge watch some shows, anything that is just for you!</p><p>It can feel very strange when we start taking our lives back. There can be times where we feel guilty but we have to remember that our lives matter too. </p><p></p><p>Detaching from our adult difficult children does not mean that we don't love them. Our love will always be there but our love cannot save them. They have to choose for themselves if how they are going to live their life.</p><p></p><p>Your are doing really well. Stay steady the course.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for sharing this update.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you.....................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 709446, member: 18516"] Joyseph, you are showing so much strength! I know how hard it is to fight those feelings of guilt but you are doing what is best for both of you. Your son needs to start learning how to live his life on his own. Will it be difficult? Probably but he has to live his own life. Good or bad. You also need to live your life. We as parents have spent so many years trying to hold our adult children's lives together for them that we forget about our own. Each day, do one small thing for yourself. Buy a special cup of coffee, buy an ice cream, buy some flowers, go for a walk, take a bubble bath, binge watch some shows, anything that is just for you! It can feel very strange when we start taking our lives back. There can be times where we feel guilty but we have to remember that our lives matter too. Detaching from our adult difficult children does not mean that we don't love them. Our love will always be there but our love cannot save them. They have to choose for themselves if how they are going to live their life. Your are doing really well. Stay steady the course. Thanks for sharing this update. ((HUGS)) to you..................... [/QUOTE]
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Setting boundaries is rough but it's doable
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