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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 681604" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I have not seen or spoken </p><p>with </p><p>Rain since the last incident at my home. </p><p>January 15th.</p><p>It was an ugly dark moment</p><p>of many, many.</p><p> </p><p>Many.</p><p></p><p>This evening, after class, I got a text from Hoku. </p><p></p><p><em>"At the hospital with Rain"</em></p><p></p><p>The sentence lifts off of my screen</p><p>a strangling</p><p>soul tourniquet.</p><p></p><p>My heart skips a beat.</p><p>I reply and wait.</p><p></p><p>The night is cold and black,</p><p>strong gusts bend trees that moan and </p><p>cry out from the mountain ridge</p><p>surround,</p><p>surreal,</p><p>cascading through the valley</p><p>echoes of shadow sounds through my open window.</p><p></p><p>The answer comes.</p><p></p><p>It is the same story, this guy, released from jail....beat her, police report made......</p><p>I wait, I pray,</p><p> I do not go to the hospital.</p><p>I do not know what to say, or do. </p><p>Howling winds</p><p>swirl.</p><p></p><p>Time stands still,</p><p>yet the clock ticks</p><p>mocking me.</p><p><em>"You are her mother."</em></p><p></p><p>Everything I say or do is taken the wrong way.</p><p>Rejected.</p><p>Words, torn to shreds.</p><p>Her</p><p>narrowed eyes, hate filled, angry.</p><p></p><p>She is my first born.</p><p></p><p>I wait. </p><p>The clock hand moves.</p><p>Slowly.</p><p>I am frozen.</p><p>Thoughts racing</p><p>head and heart</p><p>aching</p><p>I contemplate going to the hospital.</p><p></p><p>Another text.</p><p></p><p>The hospital released her.</p><p></p><p>Another text,</p><p>Hoku is besides herself.</p><p>I call.......</p><p>She is bewildered, </p><p>as am I.</p><p></p><p>Rain would not go anywhere else,</p><p>but the darkened area where she was staying.</p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Her home, the street.</em></p><p></p><p>Hoku is upset.</p><p>Voice trembling....</p><p>"The guy was there."</p><p>Rain opened the car door </p><p>slipped into the shadows,</p><p>reappeared</p><p>and introduced this guy,</p><p>as if....<em>nothing</em>.</p><p></p><p>Hoku finished her lament, </p><p>then softly said, voice quivering.</p><p></p><p>"<em>Rain said she just needed a hug from you</em>."</p><p></p><p>I tried to wrap my head around those words</p><p>that shivered up my spine</p><p>then drifted on the heavy air.</p><p>I </p><p>breathe </p><p>them in </p><p>and</p><p>time stopped, </p><p>between </p><p>mournful </p><p>silent </p><p>sobs.</p><p>I swallowed my sorrow,</p><p>stomach churning.</p><p>The last memory of her</p><p> in my mind, </p><p>turning</p><p>over and again.</p><p>Up close in my face</p><p>swearing,</p><p>threatening,</p><p>jeering.</p><p></p><p>My first born.</p><p>Shadow daughter.</p><p></p><p>I am left feeling bereft, unable to sleep.</p><p><em>I did not go to the hospital.</em></p><p></p><p>I pray.</p><p>Please God, watch over her, </p><p>help her to get off the streets,</p><p>out of the shadows, into the light.</p><p></p><p>An icy gust permeated through the house.</p><p>I shudder.</p><p>Mind shattered</p><p>heart torn.</p><p><em>I did not go to the hospital.</em></p><p></p><p>"What is the matter with you?"</p><p>my former self demands.</p><p></p><p>Has my heart </p><p>grown as cold as the winds?</p><p></p><p>She is my first born.</p><p>My shadow daughter</p><p>and I</p><p></p><p>I am her shadow mother.</p><p></p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 681604, member: 19522"] I have not seen or spoken with Rain since the last incident at my home. January 15th. It was an ugly dark moment of many, many. Many. This evening, after class, I got a text from Hoku. [I]"At the hospital with Rain"[/I] The sentence lifts off of my screen a strangling soul tourniquet. My heart skips a beat. I reply and wait. The night is cold and black, strong gusts bend trees that moan and cry out from the mountain ridge surround, surreal, cascading through the valley echoes of shadow sounds through my open window. The answer comes. It is the same story, this guy, released from jail....beat her, police report made...... I wait, I pray, I do not go to the hospital. I do not know what to say, or do. Howling winds swirl. Time stands still, yet the clock ticks mocking me. [I]"You are her mother."[/I] Everything I say or do is taken the wrong way. Rejected. Words, torn to shreds. Her narrowed eyes, hate filled, angry. She is my first born. I wait. The clock hand moves. Slowly. I am frozen. Thoughts racing head and heart aching I contemplate going to the hospital. Another text. The hospital released her. Another text, Hoku is besides herself. I call....... She is bewildered, as am I. Rain would not go anywhere else, but the darkened area where she was staying. [I] Her home, the street.[/I] Hoku is upset. Voice trembling.... "The guy was there." Rain opened the car door slipped into the shadows, reappeared and introduced this guy, as if....[I]nothing[/I]. Hoku finished her lament, then softly said, voice quivering. "[I]Rain said she just needed a hug from you[/I]." I tried to wrap my head around those words that shivered up my spine then drifted on the heavy air. I breathe them in and time stopped, between mournful silent sobs. I swallowed my sorrow, stomach churning. The last memory of her in my mind, turning over and again. Up close in my face swearing, threatening, jeering. My first born. Shadow daughter. I am left feeling bereft, unable to sleep. [I]I did not go to the hospital.[/I] I pray. Please God, watch over her, help her to get off the streets, out of the shadows, into the light. An icy gust permeated through the house. I shudder. Mind shattered heart torn. [I]I did not go to the hospital.[/I] "What is the matter with you?" my former self demands. Has my heart grown as cold as the winds? She is my first born. My shadow daughter and I I am her shadow mother. leafy [/QUOTE]
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