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Sharing diagnosis with ghg
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 473608" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I am with you. In fact at the middle school and highschool levels there are usually disability trainings that the kids go thru here to learn about their challenges, what it makes difficult and what they can do. They learn about famous people who have similar issues for role models. I do think it is really hard that people often interpret their explanation of why they are struggling as an excuse after that. My son will say, I have special needs. People then say he thinks he can get away with things because of that. He has never gotten away with anything so that argument doesn't hold water. He says to me, that is how God made me dont they understand? and many other things like that. To him it is just fact not manipulation. I tell him over and over that he still has choices and he has to trust that people who are trying to help him are doing so because they understand about the tricky moments. have you ever seen the workbook for Autism...really most appropraite for Aspergers, you can eliminate the disabiity words and put any disability label in it but it is a great self-esteem workbook ...wait I am gonna look it up...</p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-What-Does-Mean-Me/dp/1885477597/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319705195&sr=1-5" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-What-Does-Mean-Me/dp/1885477597/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319705195&sr=1-5</a></p><p></p><p>I had a copy and loaned it out and never got it back. It is a workbook format and so good. You can pick and choose, copy it whatever to adapt it for a child. several parents I know who have it say it shouldn't have the label aspergers in the title because inside it says for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), ADHD etc. And it really is...the focus is not on the word "aspergers" it is on strengths, weaknesses, coping, etc.</p><p>Not a direct answer to your question, but thought I'd share because it does help them deal with the diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>I think for kids to be able to respond back with an appropriate label and "defend" or explain when people say something insensitive, it is helpful too. Mostly it is about what you said. They dont have to wonder and have a reason for why they feel so different that is a legitimate thing. Has your mom ever had symptoms that people couldn't figure out? It is such a relief when you know there really IS something, you are not going crazy and it is not cancer or something really serious. I figure it is a similar experience that maybe she could relate to. </p><p></p><p>Even if she is right, and he uses it (esp. as a teen eventually) to try to manipulate...it is still better than having the fear, anxiety and poor self esteem that comes with not knowing.</p><p></p><p>Be prepared though, my son hit a phase this year where he HATES having autism. Is feeling like he is the only one. He asks everyone (gosh, he is in a room with mostly kids with autism) so once he gets into the wanting to fit in mode that all teens go thru it can be hard no matter what. building that self esteem now seems even more like a good idea. I wish I would have tried harder when he was younger to explain it.</p><p>has your son been diagnosed now? your signature says maybe. If he has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), does he really have ODD? not doubting you at all...just wondering about it, mine can be oppositional and this week at the hospital. they said not ODD for sure, he is too compliant when all other things are going fine. they have so many ODD kids there they just feel there is a difference when the behavior can be explained by another diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>trust your mommy gut...you know what your son needs. Love that you brought this up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 473608, member: 12886"] I am with you. In fact at the middle school and highschool levels there are usually disability trainings that the kids go thru here to learn about their challenges, what it makes difficult and what they can do. They learn about famous people who have similar issues for role models. I do think it is really hard that people often interpret their explanation of why they are struggling as an excuse after that. My son will say, I have special needs. People then say he thinks he can get away with things because of that. He has never gotten away with anything so that argument doesn't hold water. He says to me, that is how God made me dont they understand? and many other things like that. To him it is just fact not manipulation. I tell him over and over that he still has choices and he has to trust that people who are trying to help him are doing so because they understand about the tricky moments. have you ever seen the workbook for Autism...really most appropraite for Aspergers, you can eliminate the disabiity words and put any disability label in it but it is a great self-esteem workbook ...wait I am gonna look it up... [URL]http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-What-Does-Mean-Me/dp/1885477597/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319705195&sr=1-5[/URL] I had a copy and loaned it out and never got it back. It is a workbook format and so good. You can pick and choose, copy it whatever to adapt it for a child. several parents I know who have it say it shouldn't have the label aspergers in the title because inside it says for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), ADHD etc. And it really is...the focus is not on the word "aspergers" it is on strengths, weaknesses, coping, etc. Not a direct answer to your question, but thought I'd share because it does help them deal with the diagnosis. I think for kids to be able to respond back with an appropriate label and "defend" or explain when people say something insensitive, it is helpful too. Mostly it is about what you said. They dont have to wonder and have a reason for why they feel so different that is a legitimate thing. Has your mom ever had symptoms that people couldn't figure out? It is such a relief when you know there really IS something, you are not going crazy and it is not cancer or something really serious. I figure it is a similar experience that maybe she could relate to. Even if she is right, and he uses it (esp. as a teen eventually) to try to manipulate...it is still better than having the fear, anxiety and poor self esteem that comes with not knowing. Be prepared though, my son hit a phase this year where he HATES having autism. Is feeling like he is the only one. He asks everyone (gosh, he is in a room with mostly kids with autism) so once he gets into the wanting to fit in mode that all teens go thru it can be hard no matter what. building that self esteem now seems even more like a good idea. I wish I would have tried harder when he was younger to explain it. has your son been diagnosed now? your signature says maybe. If he has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), does he really have ODD? not doubting you at all...just wondering about it, mine can be oppositional and this week at the hospital. they said not ODD for sure, he is too compliant when all other things are going fine. they have so many ODD kids there they just feel there is a difference when the behavior can be explained by another diagnosis. trust your mommy gut...you know what your son needs. Love that you brought this up. [/QUOTE]
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