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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 473726" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My son is not mentally disabled, as far as mentally slow. He always knew he was different. He seems to feel comforted knowing why. I know that as a child I felt very different. I was moody, quick to cry, quick to throw a tantrum, was ridiculed by other kids, had no frineds...by age six I remember thinking, "I'm different. WHY am I different?" I did not verbalize this to my parents. By age thirteen I was looking in encyclopedias (remember them????) trying to find out which mental illness I had. This was all without anybody telling me anything was wrong with me. Since nobody ever talked to me about it (acknowledged it), I grew even more afraid and diganosed myself...first after I watched "The Three Faces of Eve" I spent years thinking I had a mulitiple personality because I was forgetful and spaced out. It positively interfered with every aspect of my life. I expected myself to skip three yars and to just wake up one day, like Eve did. Later on, I was convinced I had schizophrenia and would lose 100% touch with reality. Because nobody discussed it back then or talked to me about it, I just got worse and my anxiety flew off the charts, wondering what was wrong with me. It had never been a secret, in my mind, that I was, in my way of thinking, "crazy." When I did not do well in school, I wasn't told I had Learning Disability (LD)'s, I was told and believed that I was lazy and stupid and bad...I thought it was all a part of my being crazy/schizophrenic as I'd read that schizoprenia can make one cognitively dull. I also could not pay attention, which made me wonder if my other personality had taken over...lol. I was really a mess as a kid. I had no real childhood.</p><p></p><p>Our kids know they get into trouble more than other kids. They see other kids and notice how they can control their impulses and tempers. They hear other mothers saying "no" and notice that other kids can accept it. They feel themselves losing control or obsessing with objects or being unable to reach out to other kids normally and they hear the taunting and the names and it is hard for me, as an old difficult child, to believe they don't realize that they are different. Furthermore, although not all kids are the same, I think most kids feel more comforted once they know why. That is why I never lie to my kids and don't hold things back. It has never made Sonic any worse to be non-chalantly told what is going on with him or why he has trouble in certain areas.</p><p></p><p>One day, after I had thought Sonic didn't really "get" autism, he came downstairs with a smile on his face and said, "Hey, Mom, they have this really neat show on the radio about high functioning autism and kids are on and everything. That's like me, right?" He didn't sound disturbed at all. More like "Yay! They're like ME!" </p><p></p><p>We do not do the denial thing nor do we think hiding what he has will make him more normal. He has evolved 80% to normal anyway, but there is still that 20%. He is comfortable with both kind "typical" kids and "different" kids he meets in the Special Olympics. For those of you who are afraid to try the Special Olympics, or think it is only for slow kids or kids who have Downs Syndrome, I can not tell you how much good it does for the participants. My son SHINES there, is uncharacteristically social, and loves to compete. Some kids are obviously very different, but most are just like other kids, although you know they are in some way disabled. They bowl like champs. Sonic just won a big award last week...his average for three games was 154. That's a "typical" score...he can bowl with anyone. </p><p></p><p>Sorry that I got off on a tangent. in my opinion only, and I'm certainly no expert, the more you hide, the more ashamed the child is...or the more worried and scared or all three. You can not imagine what goes on in a little mind when the child is certain something is wrong, but he has no idea what. Very often, his conclusions are not good. Often he/she not only comes up with his own diagnosis, but he thinks "I am a bad boy" "I am a bad girl." To a child, since our kids get into trouble so often and other kids don't, that is very common for them to think this. I thought it all the time. As a teen, it made me suicidal. I am perhaps one of the few who had serious mental health issues as a child so just sharing my story. I hope that your children do not waste the only childhood they will ever have worrying about what is wrong with them...or even thinking about suicide. Often kids do not express how they really feel. They either can't or are afraid.</p><p></p><p>OK, I am stepping off the soap box...lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 473726, member: 1550"] My son is not mentally disabled, as far as mentally slow. He always knew he was different. He seems to feel comforted knowing why. I know that as a child I felt very different. I was moody, quick to cry, quick to throw a tantrum, was ridiculed by other kids, had no frineds...by age six I remember thinking, "I'm different. WHY am I different?" I did not verbalize this to my parents. By age thirteen I was looking in encyclopedias (remember them????) trying to find out which mental illness I had. This was all without anybody telling me anything was wrong with me. Since nobody ever talked to me about it (acknowledged it), I grew even more afraid and diganosed myself...first after I watched "The Three Faces of Eve" I spent years thinking I had a mulitiple personality because I was forgetful and spaced out. It positively interfered with every aspect of my life. I expected myself to skip three yars and to just wake up one day, like Eve did. Later on, I was convinced I had schizophrenia and would lose 100% touch with reality. Because nobody discussed it back then or talked to me about it, I just got worse and my anxiety flew off the charts, wondering what was wrong with me. It had never been a secret, in my mind, that I was, in my way of thinking, "crazy." When I did not do well in school, I wasn't told I had Learning Disability (LD)'s, I was told and believed that I was lazy and stupid and bad...I thought it was all a part of my being crazy/schizophrenic as I'd read that schizoprenia can make one cognitively dull. I also could not pay attention, which made me wonder if my other personality had taken over...lol. I was really a mess as a kid. I had no real childhood. Our kids know they get into trouble more than other kids. They see other kids and notice how they can control their impulses and tempers. They hear other mothers saying "no" and notice that other kids can accept it. They feel themselves losing control or obsessing with objects or being unable to reach out to other kids normally and they hear the taunting and the names and it is hard for me, as an old difficult child, to believe they don't realize that they are different. Furthermore, although not all kids are the same, I think most kids feel more comforted once they know why. That is why I never lie to my kids and don't hold things back. It has never made Sonic any worse to be non-chalantly told what is going on with him or why he has trouble in certain areas. One day, after I had thought Sonic didn't really "get" autism, he came downstairs with a smile on his face and said, "Hey, Mom, they have this really neat show on the radio about high functioning autism and kids are on and everything. That's like me, right?" He didn't sound disturbed at all. More like "Yay! They're like ME!" We do not do the denial thing nor do we think hiding what he has will make him more normal. He has evolved 80% to normal anyway, but there is still that 20%. He is comfortable with both kind "typical" kids and "different" kids he meets in the Special Olympics. For those of you who are afraid to try the Special Olympics, or think it is only for slow kids or kids who have Downs Syndrome, I can not tell you how much good it does for the participants. My son SHINES there, is uncharacteristically social, and loves to compete. Some kids are obviously very different, but most are just like other kids, although you know they are in some way disabled. They bowl like champs. Sonic just won a big award last week...his average for three games was 154. That's a "typical" score...he can bowl with anyone. Sorry that I got off on a tangent. in my opinion only, and I'm certainly no expert, the more you hide, the more ashamed the child is...or the more worried and scared or all three. You can not imagine what goes on in a little mind when the child is certain something is wrong, but he has no idea what. Very often, his conclusions are not good. Often he/she not only comes up with his own diagnosis, but he thinks "I am a bad boy" "I am a bad girl." To a child, since our kids get into trouble so often and other kids don't, that is very common for them to think this. I thought it all the time. As a teen, it made me suicidal. I am perhaps one of the few who had serious mental health issues as a child so just sharing my story. I hope that your children do not waste the only childhood they will ever have worrying about what is wrong with them...or even thinking about suicide. Often kids do not express how they really feel. They either can't or are afraid. OK, I am stepping off the soap box...lol. [/QUOTE]
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