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Substance Abuse
She says she's ready ...so how do I help?
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 743303" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>I’m hoping to get them both together. We’ll see! </p><p></p><p>She’s been diagnosed at various times as either borderline or bipolar. No two ever seem to agree. Like SWOT, I don’t put much stock in diagnoses. She has rapid cycling mood swings and little impulse control when angry. She seems to have a poor sense of self and latches onto people hard and models her mannerisms and behavior on them while attached. She has a strong fear of abandonment and tends to engineer dramatic break ups with friends and romantic partners. Pushing people away before she can be dumped. I think those were the basis of the Borderline (BPD) diagnosis. But you’re right, she does seem to have the ability to emphasize, and I don’t think she is antisocial or cynically manipulative. She’s just...lost. I really think biomom abandoning her at one year did lasting damage to her ability to attach and trust. I think she also struggles with potential Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), though that was never diagnosed. I’ve watched her struggle her whole life with school, with friends, with boyfriends, with everything. Nothing ever came easy for her. </p><p></p><p>I remember her in elementary school struggling so hard with homework. The school denied her an IEP on the basis that there was no descrepancy between iq and performance - I was told she was just borderline low iq. I wish so much now that I’d known enough to fight it then. The school system failed her. She needed an IEP and services. But when she was little she would try so hard to keep up. It would take her hours to get through homework even with my help and I would say maybe we’ve done enough. I will write a note to your teacher and tell her how hard you worked. And she would say no I have to finish I have to do this. She wanted so much to fit in and be like everyone else. She was so fiercely stubborn, even as a small child. I watched her struggle and try and gradually get discouraged and give up through middle and high school. It broke my heart. But that stubbornness is still in there, and I pray it will be the thing that saves her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 743303, member: 23349"] I’m hoping to get them both together. We’ll see! She’s been diagnosed at various times as either borderline or bipolar. No two ever seem to agree. Like SWOT, I don’t put much stock in diagnoses. She has rapid cycling mood swings and little impulse control when angry. She seems to have a poor sense of self and latches onto people hard and models her mannerisms and behavior on them while attached. She has a strong fear of abandonment and tends to engineer dramatic break ups with friends and romantic partners. Pushing people away before she can be dumped. I think those were the basis of the Borderline (BPD) diagnosis. But you’re right, she does seem to have the ability to emphasize, and I don’t think she is antisocial or cynically manipulative. She’s just...lost. I really think biomom abandoning her at one year did lasting damage to her ability to attach and trust. I think she also struggles with potential Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), though that was never diagnosed. I’ve watched her struggle her whole life with school, with friends, with boyfriends, with everything. Nothing ever came easy for her. I remember her in elementary school struggling so hard with homework. The school denied her an IEP on the basis that there was no descrepancy between iq and performance - I was told she was just borderline low iq. I wish so much now that I’d known enough to fight it then. The school system failed her. She needed an IEP and services. But when she was little she would try so hard to keep up. It would take her hours to get through homework even with my help and I would say maybe we’ve done enough. I will write a note to your teacher and tell her how hard you worked. And she would say no I have to finish I have to do this. She wanted so much to fit in and be like everyone else. She was so fiercely stubborn, even as a small child. I watched her struggle and try and gradually get discouraged and give up through middle and high school. It broke my heart. But that stubbornness is still in there, and I pray it will be the thing that saves her. [/QUOTE]
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She says she's ready ...so how do I help?
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