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Substance Abuse
She says she's ready ...so how do I help?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 743325" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My son was like the fifth kidMy son had a neuropsychological exam at Children's Hospital which also included exam by a Child Psychiatrist right after I adopted him. He also was tested by the Infectious Disease MD at the Children's Hospital. The neuropsychologist said he had problems with sequencing but did not come up with any developmental diagnosis. I knew he was drug exposed. From the start he was anxious and impulsive. He could also be hyper-attentive. If something got his attention he was riveted. He went to a behaviorally oriented nursery school for a year or so. But at 5 or 6 he had a seizure and I brought him to a neurologist at Childrens hospital who said he had a marker of fetal alcohol which was a certain eye fold. He did not however give him the diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>I am filled with remorse that I could have done more to prepare him for adulthood had I been more proactive and more focused upon limitations as opposed to functioning. He did always have an IEP and I advocated for him fiercely in school where he had non-public school for I would say 4 years in 7th grade through 12th while we were here in the States. When we were out of the country he went to private schools in those countries in both Spanish and Portuguese speaking countries. Languages are among his gifts.</p><p></p><p>Because of who I am, good and bad, my expectation for him was that he would go to college. He did for a year and he largely held his own. But he did not have the motivation to continue.</p><p></p><p>I am so confused. I was so far from creating a supportive structure for J, like SWOT did for Sonic, it is not even funny. Not one bit funny. The expectation for J was that he become independent. I never considered an alternative. Was all of this misery avoidable? No two children and no two parents are alike in their strengths and weaknesses.</p><p></p><p>Sonic seems compliant in a way that J was not beginning at age 15 or 16 or so. There was never any serious acting out. And really, there still is not. A resistance to maturing and to accepting responsibility; an inability to focus upon goals and to commit; difficulty managing money; a lack of order and organization in managing his things (I am the same way unfortunately.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 743325, member: 18958"] My son was like the fifth kidMy son had a neuropsychological exam at Children's Hospital which also included exam by a Child Psychiatrist right after I adopted him. He also was tested by the Infectious Disease MD at the Children's Hospital. The neuropsychologist said he had problems with sequencing but did not come up with any developmental diagnosis. I knew he was drug exposed. From the start he was anxious and impulsive. He could also be hyper-attentive. If something got his attention he was riveted. He went to a behaviorally oriented nursery school for a year or so. But at 5 or 6 he had a seizure and I brought him to a neurologist at Childrens hospital who said he had a marker of fetal alcohol which was a certain eye fold. He did not however give him the diagnosis. I am filled with remorse that I could have done more to prepare him for adulthood had I been more proactive and more focused upon limitations as opposed to functioning. He did always have an IEP and I advocated for him fiercely in school where he had non-public school for I would say 4 years in 7th grade through 12th while we were here in the States. When we were out of the country he went to private schools in those countries in both Spanish and Portuguese speaking countries. Languages are among his gifts. Because of who I am, good and bad, my expectation for him was that he would go to college. He did for a year and he largely held his own. But he did not have the motivation to continue. I am so confused. I was so far from creating a supportive structure for J, like SWOT did for Sonic, it is not even funny. Not one bit funny. The expectation for J was that he become independent. I never considered an alternative. Was all of this misery avoidable? No two children and no two parents are alike in their strengths and weaknesses. Sonic seems compliant in a way that J was not beginning at age 15 or 16 or so. There was never any serious acting out. And really, there still is not. A resistance to maturing and to accepting responsibility; an inability to focus upon goals and to commit; difficulty managing money; a lack of order and organization in managing his things (I am the same way unfortunately.) [/QUOTE]
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