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She stole $13,000
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704264" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with Apple to a point. Your girlfriend is showing you who she is right now. She has choices. For example, she could declare bankruptcy on her personal debt and concentrate on restoring her mother's money. </p><p></p><p>But from my own experience, there is no perfect person. This girl has been shaped by her experience like each one of us. The original deception was by her mother, who as I understood it, took money that was not hers alone, without discussing it with her own spouse. She removed it from community property funds, and she took it voluntarily as her own. And then she decided that the daughter was custodian of the funds. Unless the account is noted as <em>in trust for I think </em>it may be construed pretty much "a gift." But I am not an attorney.</p><p> People can change. Even if they are doing wrong things right now, they can decide to change them.</p><p></p><p>You can decide to take a stand. If you are committed to her, I do not think it would be an error to support her to change, and see how she responds.</p><p></p><p>My own partner takes the stand that Apple does, about me. If I created a mess, his expectation is that I do everything required to clean it up. He watches me flail, until I can find a way to solve the situation. But he will not rescue me at the beginning. He makes me try, and try and try--and then he will work with me, when and as he can. That is not to say that he will not help me with the challenges that we have taken on together.</p><p></p><p>Letting this girlfriend stew in her own juices, I do not know. I would not just watch. And then walk away. I would take a look at myself, and really face what I saw in her, and what I need in a partner, and what I am willing to give. Most of all I would gain clarity about my values are. You must be very clear about your own values, because of your work.</p><p></p><p>Then I would start from there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704264, member: 18958"] I agree with Apple to a point. Your girlfriend is showing you who she is right now. She has choices. For example, she could declare bankruptcy on her personal debt and concentrate on restoring her mother's money. But from my own experience, there is no perfect person. This girl has been shaped by her experience like each one of us. The original deception was by her mother, who as I understood it, took money that was not hers alone, without discussing it with her own spouse. She removed it from community property funds, and she took it voluntarily as her own. And then she decided that the daughter was custodian of the funds. Unless the account is noted as [I]in trust for I think [/I]it may be construed pretty much "a gift." But I am not an attorney. People can change. Even if they are doing wrong things right now, they can decide to change them. You can decide to take a stand. If you are committed to her, I do not think it would be an error to support her to change, and see how she responds. My own partner takes the stand that Apple does, about me. If I created a mess, his expectation is that I do everything required to clean it up. He watches me flail, until I can find a way to solve the situation. But he will not rescue me at the beginning. He makes me try, and try and try--and then he will work with me, when and as he can. That is not to say that he will not help me with the challenges that we have taken on together. Letting this girlfriend stew in her own juices, I do not know. I would not just watch. And then walk away. I would take a look at myself, and really face what I saw in her, and what I need in a partner, and what I am willing to give. Most of all I would gain clarity about my values are. You must be very clear about your own values, because of your work. Then I would start from there. [/QUOTE]
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She stole $13,000
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