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She taxes me...
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<blockquote data-quote="Deedles" data-source="post: 705407" data-attributes="member: 21223"><p>Thanks for your replies. Been a long time since I used a forum so forgive me if my ettequitte isn't up to snuff. </p><p></p><p>She is in the last resort program. Its the last thing we can do at her age to try to salvage her high school education. She has had severe truancy issues for a few years. It isn't that she skips. She refuses to go. To the point where I was losing my mind. Her school gave the ultimatum for the program and she was accepted a year later. It is one semester in their class 6 hours a day therapy and school work. In semester 2 she will attend normal (not advanced) classes at that school. She then plans to go back to her home school which gives me plenty of anxiety but I hope she will make friends and opt to stay at this school and not return to advanced placement classes. Its too much. </p><p></p><p>She has a psychiatrist and social worker. We go for family sessions and parenting sessions. We have honestly plied and moulded ourselves into what these professionals have urged us to be. I am so passive and gentle. I don't ask for help with housework as it always leads to an episode. I am severely disabled with spinal diseases and other significant concerns. She has lived through 2 of my major spinal reconstructions, knee surgery, other female procedures and most recently I had brain surgery 9 weeks ago. She is sensitive and very easily over stimulated emotionally. My husband and her love each other But cannot communicate. He has been her step dad since she was 3. Its a typical relationship from what I can tell. But I often find myself mediating and I need to break out of that cycle as it only exhausts me and they don't seem to learn anything. </p><p></p><p>As to her manipulation it's purely intellectual. She is very empathetic and incredibly smart. Perceptive. Great qualities most of the time to be honest. But when she has her mind set on her way she will get it by any means necessary. She will hit below the belt. She tells people she was abused as a child. When they dig deeper they learn it was emotional and it wasn't very abusive. I grew up my alcoholic fathers punching bag. Abuse is a word I don't take lightly. Yet I do not invalidate her. I stand by her choices where her birth dad are concerned as my attempts to help her forgive him have angered her. </p><p></p><p>She gets angry a lot. So we don't see much of her. She is like a skittish doe when she emerges from her room sometimes. One sideways glance and she's off in hiding again. </p><p></p><p>I'm complaining a lot. Please know this is my miracle child. I was not supposed to carry full term ever. I had 3 miscarriages. She stuck. She was perfect and healthy. And so good from day one. So cautious and mindful. And I made every mistake I could make with her. And then some. And now she is paying for my failures. She has no quality of life and it kills me because She is so funny and caring and when she is in an upbeat mood she delights everyone. </p><p></p><p>But she can be self centered and rude. In a childishly and socially awkward way. </p><p></p><p>I appreciate the chance to get this off my chest here. My husband and I are sick of the subject it puts our whole life under so much uncomfortable pressure. I happened upon this place by pure serendipity and I am glad I did. </p><p></p><p>Thank you for talking with me. Happy New year.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deedles, post: 705407, member: 21223"] Thanks for your replies. Been a long time since I used a forum so forgive me if my ettequitte isn't up to snuff. She is in the last resort program. Its the last thing we can do at her age to try to salvage her high school education. She has had severe truancy issues for a few years. It isn't that she skips. She refuses to go. To the point where I was losing my mind. Her school gave the ultimatum for the program and she was accepted a year later. It is one semester in their class 6 hours a day therapy and school work. In semester 2 she will attend normal (not advanced) classes at that school. She then plans to go back to her home school which gives me plenty of anxiety but I hope she will make friends and opt to stay at this school and not return to advanced placement classes. Its too much. She has a psychiatrist and social worker. We go for family sessions and parenting sessions. We have honestly plied and moulded ourselves into what these professionals have urged us to be. I am so passive and gentle. I don't ask for help with housework as it always leads to an episode. I am severely disabled with spinal diseases and other significant concerns. She has lived through 2 of my major spinal reconstructions, knee surgery, other female procedures and most recently I had brain surgery 9 weeks ago. She is sensitive and very easily over stimulated emotionally. My husband and her love each other But cannot communicate. He has been her step dad since she was 3. Its a typical relationship from what I can tell. But I often find myself mediating and I need to break out of that cycle as it only exhausts me and they don't seem to learn anything. As to her manipulation it's purely intellectual. She is very empathetic and incredibly smart. Perceptive. Great qualities most of the time to be honest. But when she has her mind set on her way she will get it by any means necessary. She will hit below the belt. She tells people she was abused as a child. When they dig deeper they learn it was emotional and it wasn't very abusive. I grew up my alcoholic fathers punching bag. Abuse is a word I don't take lightly. Yet I do not invalidate her. I stand by her choices where her birth dad are concerned as my attempts to help her forgive him have angered her. She gets angry a lot. So we don't see much of her. She is like a skittish doe when she emerges from her room sometimes. One sideways glance and she's off in hiding again. I'm complaining a lot. Please know this is my miracle child. I was not supposed to carry full term ever. I had 3 miscarriages. She stuck. She was perfect and healthy. And so good from day one. So cautious and mindful. And I made every mistake I could make with her. And then some. And now she is paying for my failures. She has no quality of life and it kills me because She is so funny and caring and when she is in an upbeat mood she delights everyone. But she can be self centered and rude. In a childishly and socially awkward way. I appreciate the chance to get this off my chest here. My husband and I are sick of the subject it puts our whole life under so much uncomfortable pressure. I happened upon this place by pure serendipity and I am glad I did. Thank you for talking with me. Happy New year. [/QUOTE]
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