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She taxes me...
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<blockquote data-quote="PiscesMom" data-source="post: 705436" data-attributes="member: 19889"><p>What do you mean by emotional and not very abusive? Her father?</p><p>I don't really understand her being on "last resort" at the school, and her friends giving up on her. It just sounds like she is being blamed for her disease, as well as for being a sensitive person. The school has a duty to educate her, until she is 21 or 22, if she is in special education. It just seems like she is getting a lot of pressure from all sides to snap out of it, and she can't.</p><p>How are you helping her forgive her birth dad, and why is it angering her? Maybe whatever you are doing is making her feel like she is not being understood or heard. Forced forgiveness is not possible.</p><p>Maybe look up "highly sensitive person" and see if that fits? You say she is cautious and mindful, which sort of sounds like it.</p><p>I can only see things through my own experiences - first my own, being very introverted and very very sensitive - which <em>cannot </em>be changed; in fact being "encouraged" to come out of my shell, or not to be upset about things that hurt me are in themselves very hurtful. It just sends a subtle, never ending message that there is something wrong w us. I don't know if she is introverted and/or a HSP, but those of us that are already know we are not the preferred type, which is bubbly and extroverted. I may be way off here, but I do get the sense she is being pressured to be something she is not. Or I may be putting my own "stuff" into this.</p><p>But she does sound like she may be wired a bit differently from others.</p><p>I wish I could be more helpful.</p><p>Is she supposed to be helping w housework, per the professional advice? What is she supposed to be doing at home? Because that is not clear - are you told <em>not </em>to give her chores, but then you do because you need help, and things blow up? Have you brought this up specifically in therapy? What are you told to do if she gets upset? </p><p>I remember when my daughter went through her lengthy, severe depression, I was already burned out and devastated by my Difficult Son's drama, and I remember being angry at her. For being truant. For not helping with housework. I was/am a single mom of three, and just felt overwhelmed. Because she had a helping role in my household, I felt betrayed and angry. Somehow I didn't understand she was fighting for her life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PiscesMom, post: 705436, member: 19889"] What do you mean by emotional and not very abusive? Her father? I don't really understand her being on "last resort" at the school, and her friends giving up on her. It just sounds like she is being blamed for her disease, as well as for being a sensitive person. The school has a duty to educate her, until she is 21 or 22, if she is in special education. It just seems like she is getting a lot of pressure from all sides to snap out of it, and she can't. How are you helping her forgive her birth dad, and why is it angering her? Maybe whatever you are doing is making her feel like she is not being understood or heard. Forced forgiveness is not possible. Maybe look up "highly sensitive person" and see if that fits? You say she is cautious and mindful, which sort of sounds like it. I can only see things through my own experiences - first my own, being very introverted and very very sensitive - which [I]cannot [/I]be changed; in fact being "encouraged" to come out of my shell, or not to be upset about things that hurt me are in themselves very hurtful. It just sends a subtle, never ending message that there is something wrong w us. I don't know if she is introverted and/or a HSP, but those of us that are already know we are not the preferred type, which is bubbly and extroverted. I may be way off here, but I do get the sense she is being pressured to be something she is not. Or I may be putting my own "stuff" into this. But she does sound like she may be wired a bit differently from others. I wish I could be more helpful. Is she supposed to be helping w housework, per the professional advice? What is she supposed to be doing at home? Because that is not clear - are you told [I]not [/I]to give her chores, but then you do because you need help, and things blow up? Have you brought this up specifically in therapy? What are you told to do if she gets upset? I remember when my daughter went through her lengthy, severe depression, I was already burned out and devastated by my Difficult Son's drama, and I remember being angry at her. For being truant. For not helping with housework. I was/am a single mom of three, and just felt overwhelmed. Because she had a helping role in my household, I felt betrayed and angry. Somehow I didn't understand she was fighting for her life. [/QUOTE]
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