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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 463137" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Nancy - I can only second TL's thoughts. You did *far* more than babysit. You gave her the chance to have a different kind of life, to *not* repeat the cycle. It's so sad that she didn't take the chance, but.... you gave her the opportunity.</p><p></p><p>As I'm in the homestretch here with- all my kids, in terms of active parenting, I have to say the hardest thing is to watch them start making their own (bone-headed) choices. Must be the control freak in me <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> , but there are some days I just want to smack them <u>all</u> upside the head and ask them if they ever paid attention to a single thing I tried to teach them. Mostly I just bite my tongue - I'm very quiet these days, LOL. </p><p></p><p>We've said it for years - from the time our kids were acting out in school, through police involvement and all their other lousy choices - their behavior, their choices, are *not* a reflection of our parenting. You know you did your very best to teach J good values, modeled how to live a responsible adult life, sought out resources to help her be a decent, law-abiding, healthy adult. The path that she's on right now is not because of any failure on your part. </p><p></p><p>You were/are a far more vital part of J's life than just a babysitter. You may not see the imprint you had on her, and she probably won't admit it, but.... I believe with all my heart that she's got a much better chance of getting her life together, under any circumstances, than she would have without your and husband's influence.</p><p></p><p>Many many gentle hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 463137, member: 8"] Nancy - I can only second TL's thoughts. You did *far* more than babysit. You gave her the chance to have a different kind of life, to *not* repeat the cycle. It's so sad that she didn't take the chance, but.... you gave her the opportunity. As I'm in the homestretch here with- all my kids, in terms of active parenting, I have to say the hardest thing is to watch them start making their own (bone-headed) choices. Must be the control freak in me :winking: , but there are some days I just want to smack them [U]all[/U] upside the head and ask them if they ever paid attention to a single thing I tried to teach them. Mostly I just bite my tongue - I'm very quiet these days, LOL. We've said it for years - from the time our kids were acting out in school, through police involvement and all their other lousy choices - their behavior, their choices, are *not* a reflection of our parenting. You know you did your very best to teach J good values, modeled how to live a responsible adult life, sought out resources to help her be a decent, law-abiding, healthy adult. The path that she's on right now is not because of any failure on your part. You were/are a far more vital part of J's life than just a babysitter. You may not see the imprint you had on her, and she probably won't admit it, but.... I believe with all my heart that she's got a much better chance of getting her life together, under any circumstances, than she would have without your and husband's influence. Many many gentle hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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