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Shocked at how good I've gotten at letting go without feeling devestated.
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 594362" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>I was one of those that was, for decades, desperately trying to get my Dad to love me. He did some very cruel things to me over my lifetime. He could be very charming and witty. He could also make me feel like a million bucks and the luckiest daughter in the world. But, the cruel behavior was just so vicious and becoming more so as I got older. We would go for a few years without talking, then he would contact me usually. I would melt and want his love and he would play me like a piano. If I could have only seen just how manipulative and calculating he was. He used to rage at me and then refuse to tell me what I did that angered him so much. I often wanted to tear my hair out when he did that.One of his things was to make enormous and grandiose promises and then almost never follow through. Then, he made and broke a promise to Daughter. </p><p></p><p>That.was.it. I was done. I walked. I never said anything to him, I just never contacted him again. Though, I think my sister mentioned to him about me being angry about the broken promise to Daughter. He never contacted me again and died five years later in 2006. I never mourned him and felt nothing when he died. Of course, he died penniless and my sister and I had to split the cost of his cremation.</p><p></p><p>It wasn't until a couple of years ago I made the connection that he was a classic sociopath. He fits ALL the criteria. Somehow, that gave me a measure of peace. He was incapable of loving me or anyone. I look back and at times I amazed I came out as stable as I am. </p><p></p><p>I don't have a lot of family (that I'm close to due to religious reasons because I won't be part of it) and friends, but the ones I do have are kind and good people. I don't do drama (Got my difficult children for that!) and I'm certainly not going to put up with nonsense from anyone. At 51, I'm not going to live what years I have left walking on eggshells or engage in stupid, childish behavior. I do tend to be very direct and that can be difficult for some people. Can't handle it? Fine. You have my permission to avoid me. </p><p></p><p>MWM, you seem to have a thought this through and have decided what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behavior towards you. It seems because someone is related by blood we're suppose to put up with toxic levels of hurtful behavior. I'm happy to read you have rejected that. </p><p></p><p>*Peace to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 594362, member: 831"] I was one of those that was, for decades, desperately trying to get my Dad to love me. He did some very cruel things to me over my lifetime. He could be very charming and witty. He could also make me feel like a million bucks and the luckiest daughter in the world. But, the cruel behavior was just so vicious and becoming more so as I got older. We would go for a few years without talking, then he would contact me usually. I would melt and want his love and he would play me like a piano. If I could have only seen just how manipulative and calculating he was. He used to rage at me and then refuse to tell me what I did that angered him so much. I often wanted to tear my hair out when he did that.One of his things was to make enormous and grandiose promises and then almost never follow through. Then, he made and broke a promise to Daughter. That.was.it. I was done. I walked. I never said anything to him, I just never contacted him again. Though, I think my sister mentioned to him about me being angry about the broken promise to Daughter. He never contacted me again and died five years later in 2006. I never mourned him and felt nothing when he died. Of course, he died penniless and my sister and I had to split the cost of his cremation. It wasn't until a couple of years ago I made the connection that he was a classic sociopath. He fits ALL the criteria. Somehow, that gave me a measure of peace. He was incapable of loving me or anyone. I look back and at times I amazed I came out as stable as I am. I don't have a lot of family (that I'm close to due to religious reasons because I won't be part of it) and friends, but the ones I do have are kind and good people. I don't do drama (Got my difficult children for that!) and I'm certainly not going to put up with nonsense from anyone. At 51, I'm not going to live what years I have left walking on eggshells or engage in stupid, childish behavior. I do tend to be very direct and that can be difficult for some people. Can't handle it? Fine. You have my permission to avoid me. MWM, you seem to have a thought this through and have decided what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behavior towards you. It seems because someone is related by blood we're suppose to put up with toxic levels of hurtful behavior. I'm happy to read you have rejected that. *Peace to you. [/QUOTE]
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Shocked at how good I've gotten at letting go without feeling devestated.
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