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Substance Abuse
Should be an interesting morning...
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 601417"><p>Ok, I am going to stick my neck out. Please know I am doing it the spirit of what I wish I could say over guac & chips instead of a keyboard. Disclaimer: I am being strictly pragmatic. I have often followed my mommy heart instead of the really good & practical advice I've been given here and I am not sure I could follow this advice myself.</p><p></p><p>If I were on your shoes, I would hope to convince my difficult child to give the baby up for adoption. It would break my heart. But I would do it anyway, at least I hope I could. Not only for the baby but for myself as well. I am slightly ashamed to type that.</p><p></p><p>I say this with great respect & no judgment. I remember the posts when you counted the days until your difficult child's 18 birthday. You desperately needed a break from the chaos. I remember the joy when you & husband bought (?) the camper iirc. (Gosh I hope I am not mixed up) The fun you've had when you & h seized opportunities to be a family of 3 and focus on easy child.</p><p></p><p>If you adopt baby C, your difficult child will be in your life forever & so will baby daddy regardless of their stability. The chaos will likely continue and will spill into baby's upbringing. You won't be able to isolate yourselves from it, even if you have full legal custody. You're potentially extending this battle for the next 20 years. I know the "what ifs", I know you want to know & love your grandson and I know you want to preserve her chance of being a healthy mom to him one day. </p><p></p><p>She had that opportunity and she blew it sky high after 2 months of sober thinking. I hold out great hope that she will mature into a healthy young woman someday, but for now, she has shown you who she is & I think you should believe her. You know that when she is using, she can be delusional and very unpredictable. And so is baby daddy. </p><p></p><p>Your beloved grandson has 2 biological parents with serious problems and he could have issues related to drug exposure in utero. You couldn't protect him and you tried so hard and with such great love. You did everything you could to give your daughter chance to be a real mother to him. You hoped pregnancy would be a wake up call. It wasn't. I think right now; you need to choose baby C. And his best shot at a good life is to protect him completely from his parents once he is born. Give him a fresh start far outside of their reach.</p><p></p><p>She chose not to be his mom. You can't save her from her choice. I know it hurts like heck. And I know you love this baby. Please know I am not sure I could walk away from my grandchild either. </p><p></p><p>If anything, please do your very best to get baby daddy to sign away his parental rights even if you have to bribe him. Just so that he can't haunt you forever if you or difficult child decide to raise baby C. He scares me.</p><p></p><p>Again, no judgment meant. Xo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 601417"] Ok, I am going to stick my neck out. Please know I am doing it the spirit of what I wish I could say over guac & chips instead of a keyboard. Disclaimer: I am being strictly pragmatic. I have often followed my mommy heart instead of the really good & practical advice I've been given here and I am not sure I could follow this advice myself. If I were on your shoes, I would hope to convince my difficult child to give the baby up for adoption. It would break my heart. But I would do it anyway, at least I hope I could. Not only for the baby but for myself as well. I am slightly ashamed to type that. I say this with great respect & no judgment. I remember the posts when you counted the days until your difficult child's 18 birthday. You desperately needed a break from the chaos. I remember the joy when you & husband bought (?) the camper iirc. (Gosh I hope I am not mixed up) The fun you've had when you & h seized opportunities to be a family of 3 and focus on easy child. If you adopt baby C, your difficult child will be in your life forever & so will baby daddy regardless of their stability. The chaos will likely continue and will spill into baby's upbringing. You won't be able to isolate yourselves from it, even if you have full legal custody. You're potentially extending this battle for the next 20 years. I know the "what ifs", I know you want to know & love your grandson and I know you want to preserve her chance of being a healthy mom to him one day. She had that opportunity and she blew it sky high after 2 months of sober thinking. I hold out great hope that she will mature into a healthy young woman someday, but for now, she has shown you who she is & I think you should believe her. You know that when she is using, she can be delusional and very unpredictable. And so is baby daddy. Your beloved grandson has 2 biological parents with serious problems and he could have issues related to drug exposure in utero. You couldn't protect him and you tried so hard and with such great love. You did everything you could to give your daughter chance to be a real mother to him. You hoped pregnancy would be a wake up call. It wasn't. I think right now; you need to choose baby C. And his best shot at a good life is to protect him completely from his parents once he is born. Give him a fresh start far outside of their reach. She chose not to be his mom. You can't save her from her choice. I know it hurts like heck. And I know you love this baby. Please know I am not sure I could walk away from my grandchild either. If anything, please do your very best to get baby daddy to sign away his parental rights even if you have to bribe him. Just so that he can't haunt you forever if you or difficult child decide to raise baby C. He scares me. Again, no judgment meant. Xo [/QUOTE]
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