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Substance Abuse
Should be an interesting morning...
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 601446" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Please also remember when considering everything, that you and husband can set whatever conditions you want on your daughter. However ultimately, the odds are DCFS is going to be involved and the courts, and it is THEM that will allow or deny visits with difficult child mom and the father. You will be bound by courts decisions even if you know you are subjecting Conner to chaos. Being ever practical, remember to consider the massive cost of attorneys which you certainly will need for a very extended number of years to come navigating the courts to protect this baby. That is on top of any possible disabilities that may occur from her meth use during this pregnancy. That can impact your ability to work full time or need a full time special service provider for child care. Not to mention the possibility of extensive medical costs. I know this probably comes across negative, and know please I don't mean it to be. I think being an outside observer makes for objective thinking. It is understandable that you and husband and your son will be guided with logic but mostly by heart and love for this baby. I can't help but think that perhaps the suggestion a few posts up about the merits of adoption to keep difficult child parents out of this innocent babies life might be a very good decision under this horrible circumstances. As I said, and the other poster, I don't know if I could let go either and I'm sorry you're in this position to choose and I may feel different in your shoes. In the end, the decision must be what is best for the development and health and life of the baby. If you believe you and husband can not only provide (which obviously you can, financial and love) but also manage the chaos that difficult child and the babies father will bring into that babies life to protect him from their actions, then it's the right decision. Please just really consider that your role would not ensure 100% control over contact from difficult child or babies father. They have rights too even acting as they are. I have to wonder too, if maybe she is too ashamed and afraid to give the child up to adoption knowing family reaction to the selfish view that would put on her choices to choose drugs over her baby, but secretly is really just hoping it is taken out of her hands and he is placed for adoption to spare her what she knows darn well she cannot handle.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 601446, member: 4264"] Please also remember when considering everything, that you and husband can set whatever conditions you want on your daughter. However ultimately, the odds are DCFS is going to be involved and the courts, and it is THEM that will allow or deny visits with difficult child mom and the father. You will be bound by courts decisions even if you know you are subjecting Conner to chaos. Being ever practical, remember to consider the massive cost of attorneys which you certainly will need for a very extended number of years to come navigating the courts to protect this baby. That is on top of any possible disabilities that may occur from her meth use during this pregnancy. That can impact your ability to work full time or need a full time special service provider for child care. Not to mention the possibility of extensive medical costs. I know this probably comes across negative, and know please I don't mean it to be. I think being an outside observer makes for objective thinking. It is understandable that you and husband and your son will be guided with logic but mostly by heart and love for this baby. I can't help but think that perhaps the suggestion a few posts up about the merits of adoption to keep difficult child parents out of this innocent babies life might be a very good decision under this horrible circumstances. As I said, and the other poster, I don't know if I could let go either and I'm sorry you're in this position to choose and I may feel different in your shoes. In the end, the decision must be what is best for the development and health and life of the baby. If you believe you and husband can not only provide (which obviously you can, financial and love) but also manage the chaos that difficult child and the babies father will bring into that babies life to protect him from their actions, then it's the right decision. Please just really consider that your role would not ensure 100% control over contact from difficult child or babies father. They have rights too even acting as they are. I have to wonder too, if maybe she is too ashamed and afraid to give the child up to adoption knowing family reaction to the selfish view that would put on her choices to choose drugs over her baby, but secretly is really just hoping it is taken out of her hands and he is placed for adoption to spare her what she knows darn well she cannot handle. [/QUOTE]
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